A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy when i started uni last year and I instantly had a crush on him. I instinctively thought he was too cool for me so I didn't try and pursue it. A couple of months after we started uni he started getting to class early (like I did) and we would chat. He was really nice and added me on facebook. We chatted a bit on there, not every day but frequently. A couple of my friends hinted to me that they thought he liked me but I was too shy and didn't believe them soI said that I didn't like him. He never asked me to do anything with just us and he never asked me for my number, all our conversation was via facebook chat or in person at university. He eventually stopped coming to class early. He stopped talking to me on facebook as frequently or for as long a period of time. I obviously missed him doing this but I wasn't sure what to do. On my birthday he changed his relationship status to married with another girl on facebook. I was instantly really hurt but didn't say anything to him or anyone else. Obviously uni has broken up now but sometimes on fb chat he'll send me a funny link but when I reply he'll ignore me, only when we're talking about university does he completely reply. I'm too shy to start conversations with him on my own when they're not uni related and the few occasions I've tried he's ignored me.My best friend said she thought he was flirting with me but I honestly can't tell because I'm really quite dense.I don't know if the other girl is a girlfriend because there aren't any photos of them together (that I can see) and I haven't seen any posts on his wall from her (at a glance, I haven't really delved very deep.) but why else would they be married on fb? he was in an "it's complicated" relationship before.I don't really know what to do. I'm really tormented by this. When he's on fb chat I actually pray for him to talk to me but he only does half of the time. I miss him and I obviously still fancy him but I feel like an idiot and I don't know what to do or where I stand now...any advice about what i can do or what's going on?
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best friend, crush, facebook, flirt, period, shy, university Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 July 2012):
 Well it sounds to me like yes maybe he was interested in you, but he has now giving up, sometimes people can mistake someone being shy for someone who is just not interested in them. I am aware that you are shy and I can understand that, but you need to let people know how you feel or else they will never know. He can't just guess that you like him and also it should not always be up to him to make a move.
I think you should start more conversations with him, show him you are interested in him. It is only messages over face book, so there is nothing to be shy about. You can take your time with typing and just be friendly to him. Just ask him is he enjoying his summer holidays and has he anything planned? Maybe suggest that a group of you from university all meet up and go out for a night. Hint that you would like to see him again, and also no harm in saying to him that you miss your little chats, it will make him see that you do want to talk to him.
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