A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear aunts, please can I have some advice. My boyfriend broke up with me via a short text after an argument. We were together over a year. Ww have split twice before, both my doing and both times I connected with him again. This time I messaged him about getting something expensive returned to me, as he hadn't sent it thus far and we split a few weeks back. He was polite, and we exchanged pleasant messages, kind of goodbye in a nicer way which was good. However as you can imagine this has provoked emotional backlash for me, and likely him too. I ended up asking why he dumped me, and he said he will respond to this question fully this week.I'm not sure if I want to hear it now I've asked, as I don't want to feel rejected and dumped again! But I'm not sure weather there's a part of him that wants to perhaps reconcile? Given he is responding, as surely he wouldn't bother messaging at all? I do love him, my head says we wont work, but my heart aches.
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female
reader, miss frank  +, writes (6 April 2016):
' your heart is not aching for him.... It's aching to have the right person love you back' possibly one of the best lines I've ever read....
A
female
reader, Kcoral16 +, writes (5 April 2016):
He sounds like he wants some control over it. Don't message him, cut him off Facebook and let him miss you. In time he will or if it not then go find yourself someone who does deserve you :) I know the pain I am going through it too.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (4 April 2016):
 I agree with YouWish 100%
Set up a date/time for you to swing by and pick up your stuff and to drop of any of his - after that CUT the contact.
Be done with it. Just like HE is.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (4 April 2016):
 I can tell you why! Easily!
You said that you dumped him a couple of times when you argued, and that you'd take him back? That's your problem! A breakup is not ever a tool for an argument, only to "change your mind" when you've cooled off. Breaking up is like shooting someone. It's permanent. It's a NUCLEAR OPTION. You don't break up with someone in the heat of an argument unless your plan is to NEVER see, talk to, have anything to do with that person ever again.
Your boyfriend broke up with you because he was done with the relationship. That's why he's not yo-yoing back and forth like you were with your breakups. He meant it.
Get your stuff back from him and let it be the end of it. Don't have any more excuses to contact him again. If you were fighting and breaking up over and over, then it was not a healthy relationship to be in. And with the next guy you are with, NEVER EVER EVER break up as a manipulation tactic while fighting. You damage the relationship permanently, and in getting back with the guy, he loses respect for you for not meaning what you say. You should be able to resolve an argument without manipulating a breakup, meaning you want the guy to emotionally chase after you with "I'm sorry's" and all of that regardless of who's wrong. Relationships can't withstand that stress, and yours couldn't this time around either.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (4 April 2016):
Here is your mistake...
"split twice before, both my doing and both times I connected with him again."
You never go back to an ex. My grandmother had a saying "First time was a mistake. Second time was a coincidence...the third time you are a fool."
In other words...why keep making the same mistake over and over, yet expect something to change for the better???
Your heart is not aching for him...it is aching to have the right person love it back.
Boyfriends and girlfriends are like shopping in the produce isle at the grocery store. You never bring home the bad fruit...so why bring home the bad man and then fight to keep him???
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