A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ok here goes. im from scotland and i got my american girlfriend pregnant. at the moment both of us are living and working in south korea ware we met about 7 months ago. our contracts run out in august and she wants me to move to america with her. im not in love with her. and she made it clear that she would never have an abortion.i havent told her how i feel. i cant.she is about 5-6 weeks pregnant.what should i do. she is a nice person and doesnt deservr to be hurt. but i feel its the only way out. and my problem is if it means hurting someone i cant do it. so i will end up living a life i dont want....help please.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 April 2010):
 Tell her the truth about how you feel about her.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (23 April 2010):
 The sooner you own up the better.
She deserves the truth.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (23 April 2010):
 I agree with Caring Guy, you need to be honest with her, and sooner rather than later.
If the girl is then aware of where you stand, and that you will not be going to America with her, that you dont want to spend the rest of your life with her, she will be better placed to decide her future.
Please be aware, if she does decide to have the baby, and you two do not remain together you will still be the baby's father, and you both will need to discuss what that will mean.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (23 April 2010):
It's time for honesty. You're not going to look too good, but I'm afraid that's the price. She needs to know how you feel, because she won't want to be in an faked, unloved relationship. You need to sit her down and be honest that you like her, but you don't love her. There is no other way at all. Then, after the tears and the huge amount of anger, you'll have to make it cleat that you will be there. Don't live a life you don't want, because it will show and if the child ever finds out, it will be the one who ends up feeling guilty.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2010): I would suggest being honest with her. You may think that it is hurting her now, but imagine how much she will be hurting in the future with a child to care for and a partner that does not love her. Your feelings will not change, you may learn to adapt to her and your life together, but sooner or later your true feelings will have to come out.
Her decision may change once she knows your true feelings and it is best to be honest early on while she still has options. Yes, it will be hard and she will probably hate you (for awhile atleast). The path of integrity is not always easy, but in the long term, it is always best to be honest.
p.s I married someone I was not passionate about. I always regret not pulling the pin before it was too late. We are separated now, and it is all good, but it was a HARD path.
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A
male
reader, Brunel  +, writes (23 April 2010):
A bit late for 'hurt' is it not? Consciense troubling you (wish I could spell), you do not want her, the child or the USA!
Well there ain't no other way but to hurt her you must tell her all this today without delay! You must add that it was a sex based realtionship and her condition is a big mistake.
Face it now - she will be hurt! You cannot relay this!
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