A
male
age
30-35,
*redas
writes:Hey people, yesterday, the girl with whom i am madly in love (we'll call her Jane) got asked out by her crush, and she said yes. Naturally, this saddens me, but I just dont know what to do... I have been told my numerous friends that I should tell "Jane" that I like her, but I liked her last year and when she went out with this other guy, she felt really really guilty because I was feeling down, because she apparently really cares for me as a close friend. I have known that she is way out of my league since I started liking her, and have tried to get over her numerous times, but without avail. I'm just really confused on whether or not to tell her I still like her, because I think she has a right to know, but i really don't want her to feel sad because of going out with this other guy! Help please!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2007): hey im a girl so ive never been in this situation but im scared it will happen vice versa. that i get over a guy i used to like and then i find out he likes me. i just want to tell all the boys out there that you NEED to tell her how you feel!!!
A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (4 October 2007):
 If she thinks of you as a friend:
The best thing that you can do as a friend is let her be happy. If you're in love with her, true love is letting her be happy, even with it's someone else.
DV1
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (4 October 2007):
We can't get everything we want. But, we get nothing if we don't try. Ask her out next week and see what happens. Keep on trying until you are sure she won't consider you as boyfriend material.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (4 October 2007):
 Hey sweetness,
Well, you're a little late. I guess you've learned a lesson - next time, don't waste time!! You like the girl, let her know.
Now for your particular situation I don't think you should tell her right away. Keep the friendship going with her so that you don't lose your opportunity to be close to her. No, you missed the chance of being her boyfriend, but you still have a shot at being her close friend.
When the time is right, definitely let her know how you feel, but don't push her. Don't stress her out.
I think it would be best to wait out the relationship she's in now. It will be hard, but I think that that's just the consequence for keeping your mouth shut about your true feelings!! If you absolutely can not keep your feelings to yourself until she is available again, let her know how you feel.
I wish you luck. I'm sorry for your sucky situation!!
xxIndia
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2007): hey man get over her if u want ur friend shipp to last at the level she feels its at then bide your time untill she is ready to see u as more than a friend
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2007): He who hesitates is lost. Old English saying.
At some appropriate time, let her know you're interested in being a little more than just a friend. She may take you up on the offer in time. In the meantime, she's with another guy and if you try to come between them you'll be the one who's unpopular.
Just think, if you'd have asked her first, you could have been the one who's with her now.
Phil
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