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I'm into him and I would like to make a move! But we live together at uni, whatbif it went wrong?

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 December 2017) 3 Answers - (Newest, 5 December 2017)
A female United Kingdom age 18-21, anonymous writes:

Simply put, me and one of my uni flatmates are into each other. He's very shy, I know he has never even kissed anybody before, and I would like to make a move so badly. We flirt, we make excuses to spend time with each other, and he does things for me because he wants to help me. He looks at me as though I am the best thing on earth. There's only two things stopping me. One is that we are from completely different backgrounds and I don't know how it would work. The other, more importantly, is that we live together and will be living with each other at least for another year and a half. What if it went wrong?

View related questions: flatmate, flirt, shy

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (5 December 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntDo you know what is worse than it not working out? Spending the rest of your life wondering "what if?".

You will only find out if the different backgrounds matter if you give it a try.

And so what if it goes wrong? Perhaps you can still share digs and revert to being friends. If not, one of you needs to move out and find alternative digs. Not the end of the world. Happens all the time.

You have a lot more to gain than to lose.

I say, go for it. Good luck. He sounds like a nice guy.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2017):

Probably no harm in giving it a try. Worst comes to the worst you can probably do a room swap with someone whose found themselves in a similar situation. Either way I would advise to concentrate on your studies and not get too distracted by a relationship while at uni. You're probably going to get one shot at your degree while there will be plenty more fish in the sea once you've finished!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (5 December 2017):

Honeypie agony auntYou are right, it CAN go wrong. It can also go very right. If you really want to explore this I'd say go VERY VERY slow.

Get to know him better. See how much "common ground" there is. Future plans, goals, hopes, and dream can also tell you something. Being from different background doesn't always cause complications unless they are major, like religious beliefs or very different cultural differences.

I think it's good that you are being cautious. But if I were to ask you - apart from having to live together - WHAT is the biggest hurdle or issue you think there could be?

I ask because that MIGHT be the valid reason NOT to take it further.

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