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I'm dating a guy online. How do I know it's not going to be a "pedo's trap" when I finally meet him?

Tagged as: Age differences, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 June 2007) 8 Answers - (Newest, 2 July 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Ok here goes...

I am going out with this guy i met online, thing is i havnet met him face 2 face and we have made plans for the future!

am i crazy? is this guy for real? or am i falling for a peados trap? plz help me!!!

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A female reader, m0h8787878 United Kingdom +, writes (2 July 2007):

just to let you know, online dating and love is very dangerous. people could just make up stuff about themselves and lie to you to meet up to your expectations. of course people will be nice talking to you online but at times it's different, meeting in person. although, if this person is for real well, great!! overall, be careful because there are sexual predators out there!!!! if i were you i will not go but if you really want to meet this person you should bring a group of friends with you instead of going by yourself. for my opinion, you should just meet someone at school, it's a bit more safer than the internet!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2007):

if you are going to meet this guy ,you must tell a friend or take them with you ,meet in a buys public area , if he is for real he will understand, do not let him make you feel that you are not interested, if things he says dont ring true just walk away ,never be to trusting , people that prey on others can seem very convinsing, i hope this does not put you off, you must know this already - but be bloody careful!!!

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A male reader, tommy2k7 United Kingdom +, writes (20 June 2007):

tommy2k7 agony auntDoes the same apply to meeting a friend offline?

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (20 June 2007):

DrPsych agony auntI don't personally agree with internet dating too much. Even if the boy is your age he could be making up all sorts of things about himself to get your attention and meeting him could be a huge disappointment. On a more sinister note, I have worked in child protection and I could tell you some horror stories about paedophiles on the internet. If you really do meet him, take a friend with a mobile, meet in a very public place, don't go anywhere with him until you really get to know him (many many dates!) and if he makes you feel uncomfortable leave right away.

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A female reader, deejuliet United States +, writes (20 June 2007):

deejuliet agony auntThere is no way you should ever go to meet this person by yourself. IF (and that is a big fat IF) you go to meet him you should go with other people, preferrably an adult. If this guy is legit, then it should not be a problem to have one of your parents come along to meet him. IF he is legit, he will be happy to meet your parent as he would certainly have to do if he were a boy at school who asked you out on a date. If he doesnt want your parent(or another adult) to come along then he is definately NOT legit. PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! Be careful here!

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A female reader, flower girl United Kingdom +, writes (19 June 2007):

flower girl agony auntYou are not going to know until you meet him and i would say the only time you do that is if you arrange to meet him but you take a group of friends along with you. It's a very dangerous thing to do at your age, but if you are determined to do it then there are ways of finding out abit about him.

Try and get his full name.

See if he will send you a picture.

Find out where and when he was born.

These are things you may already know and if you don't just drop them into conversation and if he starts getting very cagey with you then stop the contact and tell someone.

There is no harm in telling your parents about him and see what they think, they might go off their head but they would be glad you confided in them.

Please be very careful as you never really know who you are dealing with on the net, do not meet him on your own under any circumstances.

Take care.xxx.

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A male reader, DV1 United States +, writes (19 June 2007):

DV1 agony auntDon't meet him alone. Bring your biggest, baddest guy friend along, and make sure that it's on your terms.

DV1

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (19 June 2007):

kenny agony auntYou can never rule out the posibility that the guy you are talking to online is not who they say they are. Of course they may well be genuine, but that is just the chance you take.

I think its really dodgy online chatting and dating espessially for girls of your age, and i would advise against it.

If you do take it further and decide to meet him please plese don't go on your own, take a friend. or even better a responsible adult, because its better to be safe than sorry.

All the best x

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