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female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: I met a guy yesterday and he bought me lunch. I like him I find him attractive and I think he feels the same about me. We agreed yesterday that we will meet again today at some volunteering project but when he arrived I only greeted him and stayed away from him. Now I'm not a cheater and I've never cheated on anyone but I feel like if I get too close to this guy I might end up cheating on my lovely boyfriend. Is this normal? Do you think he can see that I feel guilty? Me and my boyfriend are on a long distance relationship because of school but we sometimes meet on weekends if we are not busy, maybe I missed him too much.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (23 September 2016):
 I agree that staying away from him is the best way to save your LDR.
I can't help but wonder if your boyfriend was not LD and you guys were in the same location if you wouldn't still find this new guy interesting enough to make you question your relationship.
I only ask because when my husband and I were dating and were LDR I never so much as looked at another guy or found anyone that would make me consider cheating. Granted we saw each other every weekend but it was NOT about sex at all.
Think long and hard about how you feel about the new guy, and use it to evaluate your current situation. Perhaps the LDR has run it's course and you are ready to move on.
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (22 September 2016):
 If you're tempted to cheat then stay away from him, pretty simple.
If you don't want to be with your boyfriend anymore then break up with him and date the new guy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2016): One of the challenges of long-distance relationships is the temptation to see other people. People in your age-group have it the hardest; because you're so young and your heart wanders constantly. Not to mention your hormones. Which is mostly what this is all about.
You don't know the guy, you're just attracted to him. Now is when you practice self-control and earn your boyfriend's trust.
I'm going to be brutally honest. This may be an indication you're not cutout for an LDR. You and your boyfriend should have separated when he had to go away. Everyone tries to play the noble role of waiting; but few stick to it. No one wants to admit they can't do it, and too jealous the other person might find someone else first.
People in their late teens and early twenties find it hard enough to be faithful when you're easily accessible to each other and just minutes away.
You're basically too young to be tied to any kind of relationship for too long. You should be dating and getting exposed to different personality-types to determine your best match. Taking periods away from relationships to grow as an enlightened independent woman; and to focus on your education and career goals. Instead young people lock yourselves into puppy-love relationships waiting for them to come undone. Then when they do, the drama distracts them from their studies, jobs, and preparing for the future.
I guarantee, your boyfriend is experiencing the same stress and strain; and it's just a matter of time. You only have time together on weekends, and that's obviously not enough.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (22 September 2016):
 I'm in an LDR, so I know the feelings of loneliness and the affection cravings, but you can't allow yourself to get close to someone else that you're attracted to. You feelings drawing you to this man are likely to be transferring from your distance sadness, if you love your boyfriend.
School is temporary. Distance is often temporary. Flings are temporary. True love, "soulmates" if you will, are not. If you genuinely love your boyfriend, stick out the distance and don't let someone buy you food/drink, if it might lead one or both of you on.
Keep yourself away from this guy, other than being civil, if you bump into each other.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 September 2016):
 I am glad you have saw the warning signs. Long distance can be lonely at times, but is still no excuse to cheat. Now you have only met this guy, so it will be easy to avoid him. If he asks to meet again turn him down. Stay away from him if you want to keep your relationship, if you don't you will end up badly hurting your boyfriend and end up single.
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