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I'm afraid I may have texted too much and scared him away!

Tagged as: Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 February 2010) 9 Answers - (Newest, 7 February 2010)
A female Australia age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Met a man online. Thought he was great got on really well. Has a very stressful job. Used to text him and he wouldn't answer me so I would text him again he would answer with something like, yes still alive, just stressed and thatv would be it. So obviously worried about him so then texted more, yes probably did his head in, so got to the point where I asked him if he wanted me too leave him alone he then replied. Yes would like you to leave me alone for a bit as he has problems with work and his house and hasn't got time at the moment for anything else. Have I frigtened him away, how long should I wait to contact him or should I wait amd see if he contacts me?

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A female reader, Tigerlily United States +, writes (7 February 2010):

Oh honey. You asked him if he wanted to be left alone and he said yes? That's really not good. Turn the tables here, what would a guy have to do to get you to say that?

I'd pretty much just make peace with the fact that you scared this one away and move on. Try not to make the same mistake next time. Men like to be the pursuers, so give them the "gift" of letting them chase you. If by some miracle, you do hear from this guy again then play it cool and let him initiate all contact. But in all honesty I really don't think you will. Sorry. But better to let it go now than torment yourself any longer.

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A female reader, Mee!3 United States +, writes (7 February 2010):

Mee!3 agony auntI think all girls fall under this once in our lives you should not text him for a while wait for him to contact you if he duznt then hes just not that into you hope i helped

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A female reader, pinktopaz United States +, writes (7 February 2010):

You wait to contact him AFTER he's contacted you, which may be never but if he wanted to talk to you, he would. You have to remember that men are simple, if they want to talk to you, they will. If they don't want to talk to you, they won't. Also, listen to Angzw's advice. Don't be all hung up over a guy that isn't on you and if you do hear from him, be nice of course but act like you could care less and don't respond to him right away. You have better things to do than staring at your phone hoping and waiting for a text or call from him.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (7 February 2010):

Either he has another woman somewhere, maybe even a wife, or he's so into his work he's just not worth your time anyway. Back away and give him space, and just be aware of any of these problems arising in the future again.

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A male reader, polarkite United States +, writes (7 February 2010):

polarkite agony auntBoth Griffo and Angzw's advice is really good.

Honestly, you just need to move on.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2010):

Ok firstly, you havent said that you were a couple, so i assume that you were just friends.

Yes you have harrassed him a bit and he has stated that he would like you to stop.

So i feel that resolves that. Im sorry if you were starting to have feelings for him. But he doesnt seem to feel that way about you.

My best advice for you is to let it go and see who else you can meet. Remember the golden rule...it has to be real ok

All the best

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A male reader, Griffo Australia +, writes (7 February 2010):

Griffo agony auntSeems to me he "could" have another woman/wife on the side there somewhere because if he was that into you his communication would be returned and therfore balanced. Otherwise it's yes he's too busy at work "all the time??"

Unfortunatley if he's a person that has no time to communicate imagine what he'd be like if someday you are his girlfriend or have a family... I see phone calls of too busy at work and many let downs.

It's a sad world when one's career is more important than to share a great life with a wonderful person.

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A female reader, Moo's Mum New Zealand +, writes (7 February 2010):

Moo's Mum agony auntOh doll you have fallen into the trap that so many of us do. Your need for recognition and love made you chase. Yes I'm afraid you have scared him away but it may just be fixable. Text back with a humble apology for being a needy obsessed mad female then wish him a happy day. Then ring up your mates and have a get together to get your mind off this man for a while. Keep yourself busy, look gorgeous and if he's into you he will get back in touch. Do not under any circumstance text him again. If he wants you let him chase you.

Good luck doll I'm sending you my thoughts and prayers

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A female reader, Angzw Zimbabwe +, writes (7 February 2010):

Back off completely and give him his space. When you send a message, never send another until it has been replied. Sending repeat texts is kind of like nagging and desperate so just stop that. Dont always rush to answer his every call or immediately reply every text. Make him wait a little. Its possible that he might never contact you again because of your desperate behaviour. But if he does, take your time to get back to him and be friendly yet nonchalant. Just imagine you are a famous beautiful woman you admire eg. Madonna.. Then do what you think she might do!!!

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