A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Heya every1, please can you help me with something.I am 13 and am a lesbian. I am fine with it and don't mind what the outside world thinks of me but I am worrid about how my mum and dad will react if i tell them i'm a lesbian.I would hate to upset them so my question is How do I come out the closet and tell them ? Thank you for your timeX
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female
reader, Rainbow Attack +, writes (16 July 2010):
 Wow, I totally forgot about this page until I got an email telling me I had a new comment! Madness!
Well I am the person who originally wrote this message so perhaps I should update you all now.
I am now 16, nearly 17 and my whole family know about me being gay. I told them when I was 14 and they thought it may be a phase but understood and said they would stand by my choices in life.
I have a wonderful girlfriend and my whole family support us so I'm glad I told them.
Thanks to everyone who gave me advice!
Much love
Lou
xxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010): Hi! Whats up? I am 13 years old currently. And I am a lesbian. I want to say, most people our age don't have phases like that. so,
anyway.
just say.
mom. I am the same daughter! Leave me alone about it, you cant change my gene's.
ok,
I didn't choose this, get over it.
I am lesbian. GOD DAMMIT LEAVE ME ALONE
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): its okay! im going through the same thing..im 14 years old and i cant tell if im a lesbian or not. i havnt had any feelings toward boys but i think i do towards women. how do i know?????
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello again,
Well i told a member of staff at school and she wanted me to tell my mum and gave me a deadline.It was either i had to tell her or she would. I told my mum and she took it badly. She was screaming and is trying to change me. Truth is i'm happy who i am and shouldn't be changed right ?
Thanks for all the help i got,
Luv from louise
XXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): ok sweetie i am a 17 year old female who is a lesbian an i did come out to my mom when i was 14 an she took it as i was just going threw a phase in life but i was soo serious an most of my friends that have come out at a young age they have been taken the same way...an my friends partents as well as my mom tired to change us because we were so young an they thought we didt kno what we were talkin about or what we were feeling...but as far as comming out to your parent yes i would wait till you are a little bit older they will take you more serious an they wont try to change you because they figure at that age you kno what you want...
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A
female
reader, auntie donna +, writes (6 September 2007):
 I don't mean to sound ageist but are you sure it's not just a phase that many girls your age go through?If not, don't worry about what they think at the end of the day, you're they're daughter and they will love you no matter what. And if you're honest with yourself you'll know I'm right by saying, it's better if they hear it from you than anyone els. Plus they can help you through it. Good luck and let me know what you decide.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): Hey I am pretty sure this may sound a little harsh but: Tell them straight away. No matter how the reaction might be just tell them. You have thought so far whether to tell them or not so why not just get it over with? In any case it will come as a shock, but if they do get really mad, they'd still love you enough till letting you decide how to live your life :) if they don't: well then just don't talk about it further with them because that's their problem, not yours
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A
female
reader, LethalInjection-x +, writes (4 September 2007):
 I'm not much older than you, &I was in a similar situation a while back. Although, I'm not a lesbian as such, just bisexual who strongly prefers girls.. but anyway.
Don't feel you HAVE to come out yet, there's no rush, as if you ARE lesbian, it will still be there when you're say 15/16.
Don't feel like you need to come out to your parents or anyone yet for that matter, and personally, I would suggest not to until you're maybe 15/16, as while you're 13, if you tell your parents, they might try to "change" you or tell you it's just a "phase" and part of growing up, whereas if you waited until you were around 15, they'd see you as more responsible and you'd be more likely to be taken seriously.
If you do decide to tell people though, don't think that everyone or anyone has to know, no one needs to at the moment.
Believe me, when people at school find out, they will have lots to say about it, I know from experience, so unless you're completely sure you're okay with it, then maybe it's not a good idea yet. Although it depends on you, some people aren't bothered by teasing, I know for a fact I haven't been.
Lastly, while you're 13, you might struggle to meet other girls who like girls. Whether lesbian or bisexual, so expecting a relationship at the moment could prove pointless.
It's good to see someone so confident about it though.
Good luck sweetie.
:]
xxx
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (4 September 2007):
 If you are sure that you are a lesbian, this site may help:
http://www.hrc.org/issues/coming_out.asp
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): hi hun,its great that your happy with who you are.But your still young all girls feel attracted to other women at some point in there teenage years, some act on this others dont. Obviously i have no idea how long you've felt like this and i dont meen to put you down in anyway but you may be gay,bi-sexual or straight. 13 is very young to pigeon hole yourself. Give your boby and mind time to grow, experience life and dont rush into sex with anybody until ure sure.
An old school friend of mine 'came out' when she was 14,her parents eventually got used to it but the kids at school were a whole different matter. She was bullied and teased. Its sad and pathetic that it happened but unfortunately its the way it is. Think carefully about this before you make a huge statement about yourself which may not end up being 100% true.
P.S. im a lesbian so i know some of what your feeling, i just didnt work it out until i was in my 20's.
love x
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