A
female
age
30-35,
*avary
writes:If you and a guy start talking and yournot going out yet, how far is tooo far? Are you aloud to make out with him or go farther? Or should you wait until your going out. Should you hold of to give a blowjob or have sex?HELP!
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (8 December 2009):
 "No relationship" means he is not "for real". It means he is not committed to you. Using a friend to get the information from him, means you don't trust him enough yet.
I'm assuming that you are quite inexperienced, due to the nature of your questions. At your age (18-21) you will be held responsible for your decisions, regardless of your relative inexperience. It is time for caution here.
If you want to see why you should be cautious here see: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/just-found-out-my-boyfriend-called-my-ugly.html
FA
A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (8 December 2009):
 You're allowed to do what ever you feel comfortable with - but make sure it is because you want it too, not just because you want to please someone else or see it as a way of 'getting' them. I agree with the sentiment that if your looking for a keeper, then don't hand everything over so easily as there is no incentive for the guy to pursue you (demonstrate his level of interest)or make any commitment.
You sound quite young to me tho and not yet emotionally or mentally equipped to be doing yourself any favours by having casual sexual experiences. If you can't be open enough with him to speak to him yourself instead of via a friend and expose your feelings, then I hardly think your ready to go exposing yourself to acts that I am sure you would rather be an expression of intimacy/connection, instead of a wham bam thank you mam situation that having sex with him may turn out to be.
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A
female
reader, Favary +, writes (7 December 2009):
Favary is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell my friend talked to him about if he liked me or not and he said he really did but he doesnt want a relationship. So does that mean he just wants a hookup or is he being for real with me? and if he is being real I still shouldnt go farther than kissing?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (7 December 2009):
 What's wrong with just giving him a pretty smile until you start dating?
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (7 December 2009):
I've become a believer that physical intimacy follows after emotional intimacy. It is important for an inexperienced person to build a relationship of trust before opening themselves to the exposure of intimate physical relations.
I guess what I'm saying is that you are unwilling to share your most embarrassing secret with this person, then you are not ready for sex. Do you trust him to not go bragging to the boys.
These days bragging goes right to facebook and to the whole world in a day.
I'm a genuine "old guy" so my opinions may seem dated. I wouldn't go past a single "chaste" (not lip locked) kiss with anyone I haven't dated more than once. I know there is a trend to "hanging out" now. The trouble is that hanging out takes no commitment. No commitment means no relationship of trust.
Don't get in a big rush to catch up with the other girls. Share the intimacy when you feel fully comfortable with him.
FA
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A
female
reader, Nitru  +, writes (7 December 2009):
 Agree with CaringGuy. If you want commitment then a kiss is allright but don't go further. But if your looking for fun and exitment then you can do whatever you feel like.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): That depends on you and what you want/your level of promiscuity. Word of advice though: if you want a relationship with him, wait with the sex and get to know him first, then go out in public, then have sex. If you just want the sex and he's willing as well then make a go for it.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (7 December 2009):
Take it from a male, that if you give anything to him other than a kiss, he will see it as an opportunity to use you, rather than commit. Just a kiss. You want him to work for your love and attention, not get it all in one go and then run away.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): I agree. I would not do anything more than a chaste kiss. There are tons of women who would. There are tons who'd even have a one night stand in a car :) or in a parking lot. But the fact that you need to ask, says something about you. A blow is even more intimate than intercourse, in some ways.
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