A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I need some help. I am in love with a close friend but I don't know what to do about it. I am a girl 17 years old, but I am 4 years older than him, so who should make the first move?Who should make the first move me a girl or him a guy 4 years younger than me. Please I need all the help I can get.Happy New Year Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (2 January 2012):
 You present as aged 17 and currently living in the UK.. The age of consent in the UK is 16 and you are allowed to legally have sex.The boy you like is 13, under-age and still a child.I am not happy about a soon to be adult (you) dating a child who won't be able to leave school or have sex for another 3years.They say age doesn't matter... well it does when next year you go into a pub and order a drink and he has to drink cola or wait outside. He is still young and childish, next year you'll be in university or you'll be getting a job. Picking up a boyfriend still wearing a school uniform isn't a very good idea.It does seem abusive to me... If you were a 17year old boy and he was a 13year old girl I would still be worried.Check the UK Sexual Offences act... if you date this guy there can be no sexual contact of any kind... from what I understand of the law, that means even hugging or kissing could get you in trouble. It would be easy to find yourself placed on the sex offenders register, if any sexual activity occurred between you two.The Act also includes the offence of grooming... That means if you date a guy under 17, you have to wait until he's 17 (not 16) to have sex. Any pictures of him unclothed (even shirt off) before the age of 18 can land you with a three year jail sentence... For him, social services can take him into care and make him a ward of court.Not happy about it at all... Your nearly an adult, dating a child who isn't fully grown. There is a huge imbalance in power in such a relationship.You need to ask him out.. he's still a child... you will need to do everything, as many things are still forbidden for him, or he hasn't had enough time in life to figure things out. If he says yes, please go and get his parents permission as well. They are the ones who are likely to report you to the police if they are unhappy that you are dating their underage son. They are the ones who can lock him in the house, or put him into care or move abroad so you can never reach him again. You need their support (and your own parents support) if this relationship will work.Here, another similar question... I put in a summary of the legal implications and possible jail sentences for any sexual misconduct with a child under 16. There is no difference between girls and boys, there is no difference between 13,15 or 17 and 19... the age of consent is 16 in the UK... sexual activity between a child under that age and a young adult over that age is forbidden.http://www.dearcupid.org/question/it-is-ok-for-a-19-year-old.html
A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker  +, writes (2 January 2012):
 Neither. He's 13. You (both) need to grow up before anyone starts making any moves.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2012): You can date but you can't have sex as he is classed as a minor if he was 16 that would be fine but as he isn't it is illegal to do anything sexual I would not date this boy you will only get yourself into trouble
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2012): Nobody makes the first the first move, he is a child! If you date him there are a multitude of things that can happen. If anything sexual happens and his parents find out YOU are up for statutory rape! Even if either of you asks the other out, I would say that the second his parents find out that he is dating a 17 year old, they will put an end to it and not allow him to date you at all. I wouldn't let my 13 year old date a 17 year old. The truth is that your not thinking at all here. He is 13 years old, leave him alone and either wait until he is of legal age, or find a guy who is your own age, but forget about this child altogether for now. I know you don't want to hear this, but I have to be honest with you, it's wrong and is only going to cause more drama than either of you can handle.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (2 January 2012):
 Neither! I question if that boy has even gone thru puberty yet!!!
Technically you can date him, BUT legally you can't engage in any sexual activity with him. This includes oral, hand jobs, and him stimulating you. He is a MINOR and you're legally an adult.
Be smart here, and wait till the boy turns 16.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (2 January 2012):
 Where's your head? He is only 13 years old. Has nobody every told you girls usually develop earlier than boys and you already have four years head start on him.
Try focussing on a few boys your own age for a few years and leave this one to do some more growing up first.
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