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If he likes her then why is he trying to get my attention?

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Question - (15 July 2017) 2 Answers - (Newest, 15 July 2017)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

This guy at work acts very nervous and shy around me but flirts with other girls in front of me but this one particular girl is always approaching him and tries to get his attention and they talk and laugh especially around me but he rarely approaches her but he always tries to initiate conversation with me nervously and tries to get my attention, gets jealous if I talk to other guys. When this girl sees him near me she gets really upset...but if he likes her why is he wasting time trying to get my attention and why is she getting upset ?

View related questions: at work, flirt, jealous, shy

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (15 July 2017):

Honeypie agony auntHonestly? I agree with Cindy 100% but I will say this, this is your work place not a place to pick up guys.

While I get a LOT of people flirt and have banter at work, I find that in MOST cases looking for romance in the work place is a BAD idea.

As to "this" guy - I think he enjoys attention from all the women there, he might not flirt with you because you haven't aggressively pursued him. The other girl, on the other hand, she might like him and thus "AGRESSIVELY" flirts with him and she might see you and him talking as "competition".

Does it matter? Well, that all depends. Are you INTERESTED in him? If not then why worry? If you are are you really sure you want to pursue some "Office Don Juan"? Because it's UNLIKELY that he would STOP flirting with others girls at work EVEN if you two become an item.

So think about it. Is it really smart to get in deeper here?

And if not, who cares who he likes?

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy + , writes (15 July 2017):

CindyCares agony aunt You don't know if he likes her,- and you don't know if he likes you. If he flirts with other girls in front of you, and , even without initiating , plays along when this girl flirts with him- it's very probable that he does not really., really like anybody, he just likes flirting, bantering, killing time and getting a lot of flattering attention. He might also be fishing in a barrel ,- he throws out a few baits,although a bit nervously , and the first who bites, it's all good to him.

Fact is , that if he really likes you, then he needs to step up his game. He does not sound so nervous and shy after all, and anyway , if he is older than a teenager, he has figured out by now that if he likes you he can ,he should in fact ! , ask you out,- and also that the best way to show you he is interested is NOT by being all over the other girls !

Time will tell- but in the meantime I would not set my heart on this guy yet.

I guess this answers your first question, more or less.

To the second question, why this other girl gets upset- well, it's normal isn'it ? IF she likes him, and makes all this effort to get his attention, and is only rewarded very occasionally by HIS attention- she will feel jealous and frustrated in seeing she is not making enough headways .

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