Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (30 December 2013):
 Hold out for a quality man because this guy isn't it. He doesn't even act his own age.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (29 December 2013):
 I don't think he's going to clean up his act the way you want/need.
You've had a few dates... nothing major invested
if you want a man to be proud of on your arm, this is not your man.
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (29 December 2013):
 Not quite getting what you are asking here. I stand by my original answer, that you can't change who someone is.
It looks like you want the charming gentlemanly type and he's a bit uncouth.
Good luck with it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI met him two years ago and there was instant chemistry. We met out at my company Christmas party. I normally , do not drink alot but felt q little intoxicated that night. We were hanging out and he said I want to go out with you again. I said , what do you have in mind and he said sex. I was very offended and left him in the bar. He asked me out amfew more times and. Turned him down. That turned me off. We have only gone out a few times.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 December 2013):
A person can't help what they dream.
I would never actually want to meet the POTUS in a hotel hallway wearing NOTHING but plastic beach shoes but I swear that was my dream.
His dream does not mean he's into threesomes. His lack of filter may be your bigger issue and that actually might be correctable... or guide-able.
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (29 December 2013):
how long have you been dating this man may I ask?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am attracted to his looks and intelligence. I am apprehensive of his manners. I am a very silly person.he seems a little vulgar. The choices for men at my age are slim to nothing. I agree though, I have to be proud of who I am dating.
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (29 December 2013):
Seems he isn't suitable for you. Takes a while to find out what some people are truly like and if you have doubts then do not take things further.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2013): The dream about the two girls would put me off hands down.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the responses. I am uptight, but I do swear in private. Lol I think what bothered me about the dream is twofold, 1) that he did not use a filter 2) maybe he s into threesomes. I have a 13 year old daughter and I am so afraid to get involved with a man that might jeopardize our safety. She is my number one priority. Thanks again.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 December 2013):
YOU cannot change who he is.
you can let him know you prefer no foul language... and that you would prefer that he keep whatever part of that other posting that bothered you to himself. Was it that it was a dream or that there were two women or that he was sweating that bothered you?
But you can only tell him ONCE... you cannot NAG him about it or REMIND him of it. IN which case you may be better off ending it now. Personally at our age I think that being a bit more flexible is important
and cussing and sharing of dreams does not sound like a lack of quality so much as a small filter.... does not mean he's a bad guy... just not a good fit for refined lady such as yourself.
I posted a dream on facebook a few weeks ago that I was walking in a hotel wearing NOTHING but shoes... and I met the POTUS.... would that have put you off?
It's funny you sound much like my BFF and the guy you speak of sounds much like her husband...she's a very uptight ICE PRINCESS and in nearly 25 years of friendship I have never heard her cuss even ONCE.... her hubby on the other hand, swears like a sailor... does not mean I judge HER by his behavior.... just saying.
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (29 December 2013):
If he is doing something you don't like, then tell him. As for refinement...well you just cannot change people and if this is what he's like then he will only change if he wants to.
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