A
female
age
30-35,
*onfusedmichelle
writes:Okay I know I am only 17 but I would really like some opinons. I have been in a relationship with a guy for 2 years, he has cheated on me once and I ended it at that but a week later I found myself back in the same relationship. There has been other times I have tried to end it with him and I always end up falling back to him. I do love him with all my heart, but he has very immature ways he will be 20 in a few months, he still lives on his friends couch, many debt collectors, and does not seem to know how to take care of himself. When we first met I was very much head over heels for him, slowly over time it seemed that his attitude with me got worse and worse. Since we have gotten back together it has been better and he is doing everything in his power to make me happy, but I am still unhappy with him. I do not like to hurt people so it is very hard for me to hurt him becuase I do care for him just not like I first did. On top of it all I want to go to college in Australia for 3 years so that faced another problem, he said he would wait, but I don't want to have ties back to the US when I leave this next year. So what I am asking is how do I leave him and stay away? This last time we broke up I managed to stay away for about 2 weeks(the longest so far) Is it so hard for me to leave because I am comfortable with him, and like the company he gives me? Please some one help me and sorry it is so long. I hope someone can give me some insight to my situation. THANKS
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broke up, cheated on me, debt, immature Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2008): Thank you laura again for commenting. I normally would think that it is just an "act" to keep me tied to him. BUT he has hospitalized himself once with physical injuries to himself. I honestly thought it was just a way of keeping me here until I went and saw he was in critical shape. That was the turning point of me giving him another chance, I still can not figure out why he does not want to live with out me. Maybe I am just being to generous, but I can't bear to think that he could cause himself bodily harm over me.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (27 March 2008):
 Your b/f is abusive and manipulative.
He is blackmailing and making you feel guilty.
90% of their threats are empty.
If you leave , he will not die or carry out his threats.
He just want to scare you .
Be strong and don't be controlled by his actions.
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A
female
reader, confusedmichelle +, writes (26 March 2008):
confusedmichelle is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank You for your advice! But the whole sitting down and talking to him never seems to work, and I don't know how to just "say its over" and actually stay away. I forgot to mention he also goes on a craze and physically harms himself and I am afraid he will do much worse maybe even ending his life. He says, "If I can't have you then I don't have a reason to live!" He has wrote a will out and everything since this last problem we went through. It is very scary to me and I feel almost responsible/obligated to stay with him so he does not do anything stupid.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (26 March 2008):
Think of your ambition first and love second..
What do you want from life?
That is your objective.
Focus on your priorities in your life first.
He can come later after you have finished your course.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): Hi, you should try doing something you both like, such as going out to eat?, where you 2 are both comfortable. than start a conversation about how you see him as, and tell him your honest opinions about him in the best way. you say you want to leave, and that is a good thing, when there is an end there is a new beginning, so stick to it. but since you care for him which is great, try to motivate him to do better you know. you should try guiding him. nothing like a woman helping out a man, especially if your patient and loving. ;) goodluck
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