A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I'm an 18 yo guy, and still a virgin. I've had the opprotunity to have sex twice. Both times I was nervous as hell. Like beyond nervous if you can imagine. There was very little to no forplay going on before we tried, and both times I went limp. Needless to say, I was embarassed. The girl I'm with says it's no big deal and doesn't really care. But I do. I know theres nothing wrong down there, but when it comes time, i'm just amazingly nervous. Is this normal? Any info would be greatly appreciated.
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male
reader, Uncle Sneaker  +, writes (3 July 2008):
 Ever see the film "Cabaret"?
It went something like this (I may be misquoting slightly):
"No, I'm not going to sleep with you. I've had sex with just two women in my life, and on both occasions it was a complete failure."
[A few hours later]
"Those two women..... WERE JUST THE WRONG TWO WOMEN."
I think it applies to you. With the right girl in the right circumstances you won't be nervous, and it will be wonderful for you and for her.
A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (3 July 2008):
 Yes, nervousness can totally hinder things sexually. How long have you and your lady been together? You need to be very comfertable with her in order to relax. I'm not a guy, but I know that most guys that are regular masterbaters typically have easier times having sex with their partners. I assume it's because they are comfertable with their own bodies and therefore know what to do with their bits and peices. First step is to be cmfertable and relax. She is probably just as nervous as you! Try masterbating more often, (but not over doing it, you wouldnt want to get caught by mom, lol) and get more comfertable with your lady. good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008): That actually happened to me too.And all I did was just go for it, I was with my girl, and well I was very erect, but my nervousness got to me and well that didn't go too well, but you know what I still went for it without an erection, so soon enough I was having sex and I became hard again, once also my girl sucked on my penis and I became more comfortable and went on.Good luck....
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008): Its perfectly normal. You are just nervous. Just like I was. It happened to me with my first time. I couldn't get it up to save my life. Here's the thing. It's all in your head. The less you think about it, the easier to get hard it will be. If you can get it up when you are by yourself, then there is nothing physically wrong. Here's what worked for me. When you are with your girl, just focus on foreplay. Pretend like sex isn't even on the agenda. Once you get your mind off it, you'll get hard again.
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A
female
reader, SugarCookie +, writes (3 July 2008):
It is normal. You need to have sex with someone that you trust and love so it takes some of the pressure off. If you know that the person loves you then it is a lot easier. The first time that my fiance and I tried to have sex we were both virgins and he went limp too. We talked through it and after feeling closer by talking our first time was great. He never had the problem again. I think that maybe you are not close enough with your partner. I hope that helps!
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