A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a 45 yr old woman,(age posted wrong?) I have been going through the need for change for a couple years now. I am depressed, lonely, bored and burnt out. I want to relocate somewhere else I would enjoy more. I want a new job. A new start. I have two grown children 22,23 who I have raised alone. My x/husband has had nothing to do with them since we were divorced and they were babies. Both have jobs doing well. I am not close to my mother or brother so I do not feel the need to live close to them. I am tired of my boyfriend (who I do still love) of 8 years who has made promises to me but never kept them. Loves me for a few months and then tires of me and the cycle goes on. I work at keeping fit/healthy and take pride in my appearance. I would like to experience a reliable happy relationship before I get too old!! Not necessarily marriage but a committed relationship w someone who is happy to be w just me. I cant stop the crying lately. I feel trapped and I know I'm holding myself back. But the economy is not so great so that is another deal breaker. It's hard to leave a job where i'm making money and chance it...Should I feel guilty for wanting these changes? Thanks for the advice....
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female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (2 November 2009):
 No, you shouldn't feel guilty at all. You've done an incredible job raising kids on your own without help and you've earned the right to be selfish after years of sacrificing for your kids. You deserve it.
I agree, now is not the time to make big changes but things are turning around in the economy- the unemployment rate always lags behind other economic indicators so it's really just a matter of time until it improves.
I also agree about saving your money and also looking online at places you would love to live and just seeing your goal will give you some breathing room and keep you motivated and focused. I have every confidence that you will be able to achieve your goals in relocating and recreating your life- a single mother can do anything!! I wish you the best of luck.
A
female
reader, Starlights  + ♥, writes (2 November 2009):
 No of course you shouldnt feel guilty for wanting a better life for yourself.
If your unhappy you need to make the necessary changes as lifes is too short!
You've given up your time, effort and most of your life raising your 2 children so it is about time you do something for yourself!
If you feel your partner is not satisfying emotionally then dont waste more years on something that might never work out.
The best thing to do now is save up some money every month to put towards your "planned" relocation.
At least this hope will keep you happy and motivated for now.
Goodluck!
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