A
female
age
51-59,
*exless Marian
writes:My boyfriend and I have been ttogether for ten months. Ii love him but we haver never had intercourse yet. He cant maintain an erection. He does other things but its not cutting it anymore! I need the feeling that only a penis can provide. I have found a few cute and sexy guys that want to have sex with me. I told my boyfriend about them. He was not too happy, but he said to do what I need to do. I feel a bit guilty, but I also feel as though I deserve to get my needs met. What should I do? Please help. Starved for sex Marian!
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (18 August 2013):
 I'm sorry I DO understand your "plight" but expecting your BF to be OK with you having sex with other men because he can't get a hard on seems a little callous.
If he can't give you what you need, he may not BE for you. So maybe instead of expecting him to be OK with you sleeping around (or having a "pool-boy" on the side) you need to end the relationship and find a man who can give you what you need in terms of love & lust.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2013): If you care about him and maintaining the relationship, you two should go to a doctor to find the reason for his problems. Usually they can identify the source of the problem (there are many possible reasons for this) which will help put you two on track to a resolution. I would at least explore this before giving up on the relationship, although if he is unwilling and you want him to, you will need to make a choice.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2013): I understand your needs. Everyone deserves sexual satisfaction. But, I apologize for being frank, your approach makes men feel a bit intimidated. For example, the way you described it, you met the guys first and discussed sex with them, then you went to your boyfriend to seek permission. Well, wouldn't it be nice if you got his permission first and then discussed sex plans with the guys?
Personally, I don't mind if my woman gets sexual pleasure from somewhere else, but I have some rules: She must assure me (in words and action) that she only belongs to me. Also I don't find it acceptable if she has unprotected sex with strangers.
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A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (17 August 2013):
I'm sure he is a great guy. But you are not in a satisfying relationship. Your ship has sailed. Tell him he is great but you need more. He needs to get professional help. If you decide to get your "needs" meet, he will become resentful and angry towards you. It is a loose, loose situation.
I hate to say this but I couldn't do it myself. You have lasted longer then I would of.
Good Luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2013): It's not fair on him for you to be half hearted about the relationship. You know what he can offer you and his limitations,it's up to you to take it and live with it or find someone else who offers you a better package.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2013): Has he been to see a doctor to find out why he can't maintain an erection? It seems to me the best plan would be to try to fix this issue of his then HE could have sex with you. Is there a reason why this isn't an option? If you've brought this up with him and he isn't willing to try to fix it then he's being selfish and I think you need to leave him and find someone who can give you everything you need. Having a lover on the side will only complicate matters and cause headaches for you further down the line.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (17 August 2013):
 There are enough men who can give you both sex and love so my advice is to leave him. When he told you to do what you need to do I hope that doesn't mean get a lover on the side. Try to find the whole package in a man, or have nothing at all, so you don't go back and forth to get emotional and physical needs met.
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