A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have a male friend who is currently going through a divorce. We were friends for several years, however, he tends to be a bit self absorbed and while I have listened to his problems for the past several years, he has not been exactly attentive to my concerns. I've gotten to the point where I am kind of fed up with his lack of response when I feel like talking that I feel like I am being used. However, he does not have a lot of friends (although he did join an online dating site and does seem to be making connections) and I feel a bit guilty for cutting him off. We have had some tense words lately via chat and I asked him to be the one to cut off the friendship (cowardly on my part but I don't want to feel guilty). However, he refuses and when I mention it, he just does not respond. Why won't he do this? This friendship just isn't working anymore.
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (28 April 2013):
The only reason people have friends in the first place is because they are getting something from the relationship, or may in the future.
He obviously feels like the relationship has value, so why would he break it off? Since you don't, it's your job.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (28 April 2013):
 Why feel guilty???...the guy is obviously an emotional sinkhole and he has taken advantage and not offered any support in return. Just tell him you are cutting him off or go the easy route and just let the friendship slip...forget to answer texts and e-mails, don't pick up when he calls and avoid him in public places...he will soon get the message and it might stop him draining someone else in future!!
I did the same thing recently with a friend who would come to visit and spend all the time texting on her phone...In my opinion, thats rude, so I just stopped seeing her.
Don't suffer fools...ditch and move on.
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