A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my first and only girlfriend for almost 4 years now. i am 21, shes a couple years older. for most of the time we've been together, about 1 and half years after we started dating, we've been in a long distance relationship, seeing eachother during breaks mostly. she lives slightly closer now so some weekends as well, but still not very often because we are both busy. we broke up somewhere in the middle of those 4 years for about 6 months, and during that time i had a couple kinda-sorta relationships but didn't find anyone i really liked. i thought about her all the time and i wanted to get back together with her because i loved her.the reason i broke up with her is because i was going through a big change in terms of location and schools and i wanted to do it myself...sort of start new and refrain from carrying any parts of "home" with me across the country. and now that's happening again, another big change is coming up and i'm feeling this desire to break up with her. there is really nothing wrong with our relationship. she's great...we get along amazingly and have a lot of fun. she's kind and caring and selfless and pretty much everything anyone could want. but at the same time i'm really curious about other people and i feel like dating someone for 4 years at this age is not the right decision. i'm only really convinced that i'm still in love with her when she's physically near me. otherwise i just feel doubtful all the time and think about other girls.last time i broke up with her, i regretted it a lot and i was lucky enough that she took me back and everything worked out. i would not go through that a second time though, if we end things now it's for good.she does not want to break up at all, she's very happy. another thing is that i am moving to the same city as her in a few months. not because of our relationship, but because the grad school i want to go to is there. we would finally be physically close after all these years of long distance, but i am tired of waiting for that moment. i really can't decide what to do. i don't hate her or resent her, i really really care for her and don't want to hurt her. at the same time, i feel like i know her so well, i just want to get to know someone else as well as i know her.
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broke up, get back together, long distance Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2013): Do what you feel is right in your heart. If things don't work out I am sure she will be hanging around some where if you want to reconnect. You said you want to get to know some-body else, go and do it then.
A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (28 April 2013):
 If you are going to be near her in a few months you need to really think about what you want. I would be tempted to try it out when you are living closer and see what you want then. It could also be hard to have her as an ex if you are near each other and still have feelings. It's a choice only you can make.
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