A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ive spent the last year sleeping with this guy. We spent almost everyday together and I knew we weren't together and he told me he didnt want a relationship with meI understand that he's a user so I don't want you guys to reiterate that fact to me.he was staying with me for a while and I found out he went out with some other girl and I kicked him out. I'm not going to have him stay with me and basically be my boyfriend and have him just do that in front of me. We've gone through a lot together and for the majority if our thing I considered him a pretty good friend. I ended up forming extremely deep feelings for him. I ended up moving into a mutual friend of ours house. He helped me move. he brought some girl over and I got upset and he knows how I feel about him. He keeps doing stuff like that to rub it in my face. I ended up taking a trip for two weeks to see my family in another state, the day I got back he drove by the house and an hour later he came in asking where my roommate was. I find out that he called my roommate wanting to know when I'd be home and my roommate told him he wouldnt be at the house. So he came over to show himself to me or some weird crap. A few days later he came over and we got drunk and slept together. Big dumb decision on my part. During our night together he says I wish you liked me the way I like you then our relationship would be perfect but you have to make it all weird. He apparently wants me to just sleep with him and not care, but that was a strange way to put it. Then the next day he wants me to help him with his car and the day after he wants to hang out with me. But then he talks about these other girls in front of me and he knows it makes me sad. I'm not hurting myself anymore and I've decided not to sleep with him. I wanna know why he's being a creeper and what do I do when he brings over girls to our house. It hurts me and I'm not sure if I suck it up or just leave.
View related questions:
drunk, roommate Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (3 July 2013):
He is living his life they way he wants, you should do the same. Instead of questioning him and his motives you should focus on yourself more and aim to find your own place or so . He isn't really doing anything wrong because he is not exclusive with anyone, and he seems to make it clear that he does not want exclusivity. Do you sleep with him hoping he will change? Because that will never work.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2013): Why are some people users? Because they are and others enable them to be so.
Stop being an enabler.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 July 2013):
 he wants he wants he wants... you posted
he wants me to do this
he wants me to do that
well BFD what HE wants... what YOU want matters more to you right?
What i get is that he helped you move to a friends and this friend is also a friend of his so he's coming over to visit the FRIEND not you right? I would either lock myself in my room and ignore him or go out... there has to be a starbucks or something nearby... take your laptop and go out when he comes over...and if your roomate is kind s/he will let you know that Creeper boy is coming over so you can be GONE before he gets there.
and if it's that painful look for a new place to live.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 July 2013):
 Probably it's a dumb question, but... I am confused about the logistics , where do you live ?
Don't you live with a roomate , sans FWB now ?
So, when your ex FWB brings these girls " over " , -... over where ?
Over where you are living now ?... ( in which case yeah,totally weird, tasteless and disrespectful, do not allow him to do that , and make sure your roommate does not allow him either ).
But, that sounds quite strange, it cannot be, so you mean " over " where he lives alone ? .. In which case, alas, if it bothers you... it's totally your problem, he is not doing anything wrong,- being your ex FWB, it's not that he has to respect the sanctity of your ex common abode... don't ask him about his conquests, and if he brings up the subject, tell him firmly, once for all, that you are not interested in his private life, you don't weant to know the details, and you are not going to discuss them with him. If he keeps on, just leave the room.
( Note : all this assuming there is some valid reason why you are still talking to him, which, from my point of view , is totally superfluous and self defeating. . A good " friend " ? Friends are supposed to bring joy in our life, not tears ).
Or...do you mean that you are STILL living with him ?...But hadn't you moved in with a roomate ? So why do you say that you 'd have "either to suck it up or leave "? Leave from where ?
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (3 July 2013):
Your only options are to "suck it up or leave" as you put it. While the decision is really only yours to make, I can't imagine why you'd stay in a FWB relationship that makes you hurt.
...............................
|
