A
female
age
51-59,
*rettywoman67
writes:Hello Cupids.I made a decision. It was agonizing and emotionally painful for me. And it took me a long time to get to this place...I would like to know if you think I made the right choice.There is this man who I have known for some time. I am his client but we have also become friends. He would flirt with me and be friendly and it was so obvious to me at one time that he had feelings for me. When I asked him out he said he did not feel the same as me, that he considered me his friend. But his actions did not match his words. Let's just say to make a long story short that he did string me along and then hooked up with someone else. To this day, I have feelings but he is now in another relationship. I would see him all the time as his client/friend but every time I saw him I would have hope that he might change his mind about me, that suddenly it would dawn on him that he had feelings for me or that I was the right girl for him. Crazy, isn't it? I have done all I can to get his attention. But I cannot be any prettier, smarter, funnier...etc. I am all those things and more. And I am confident but to try and get the attention of someone who is unable or not willing to be with you becomes exhausting and it has this way of defeating you. I have learned that no matter how beautiful you are and how much of the total packager you are, not everybody will see it. My friends and some of his cannot believe the girl he is with. Nobody feels she is the right choice but at the end of the day, it is his choice and he made it.Now I feel it is my only choice but to move on. I have been told that I should try and be friends but how can I be friends when he has moved on and all I do is hope that he will be with me? It is too painful. I have tortured myself for far too long. I think that letting go would be the only solution for me and my own emotional well being. I have tried to be friends. I have tried to date others. But I cannot move on with him in my life because he is a constant reminder that I cannot be with him. And my heart would always remain closed for anyone else.Part of me is desperately hoping that he will miss me and realize that he really does care. And that he will get in touch with me. Is this even possible? Maybe if I am not around anymore, he will realize his true feelings?I told him yesterday I can no longer be his client. And I walked away. I cannot even begin to explain the pain I am feeling. Does the pain mean I made the wrong choice or does it mean I made the right choice?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2012): Absolutely you made the right choice. Good for you. I know its hard but rest assured in time you will feel better and there will come a day when you look back on this and shake your head wondering how on earth you could have felt that way about him.
Try not to entertain thoughts of your absence making him realize anything. That's the opposite of moving on its still being stuck on him.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (12 December 2012):
 Pain is normal after cutting contact, even ones made for the right reasons. You made this decision for all the right reasons. It's very hard to get over someone, especially as the rejectee, if they are present in your life. This will get easier over time, you just have to grit your teeth for awhile.
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A
female
reader, Staceily +, writes (11 December 2012):
 The pain just means it hurts you to leave him because you feel so much for him. You made the absolute right choice. You were interested in him and he didn't feel the same way. You cannot be friends with someone you secretly want to be with, that isn't a friend. And you would continue to hope he would change his mind whenever you saw him and continue to feel let down and terrible every time it didn't happen. It hurts now but it is much better for the long run, this pain will end and not seeing him will help you to move on. If you tried the 'friendship' with him you would've dragged the pain on forever.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (11 December 2012):
 No you did the right thing for you. However I think you are putting a lot of the responsibility on him. It's not his fault that he didn't see you as a potential mate/partner.
I think going no contact is the best for you. Because what you two have is not a friendship - it;s a"worship" you worshiping him, him enjoying your worship OF him.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 December 2012):
 The pain means you are hurting.
IN my personal opinion if you can't bear to be near him as a friend and he is not interested then I think you did the right thing going no contact.
In time, the pain will lessen.
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