A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I recently finished my degree, more or less, and am now trying to find work in the same city. I was paid for the last year of my degree (it was full time research) and opted not to stay on at the same place as the question was raised when I hated the role, but I grew to really enjoy it by the end of my time there. Anyway, I've been out of work for over two months now, and I'm at a total loss. I applied to a couple of other research roles, no luck. I applied to roles within academia that seemed appropriate, even had an interview today in a position that was very similar to work I'd done in the past... Just got the rejection letter. I have no idea what I want to do, and a string of rejections even when I seem really appropriate and the interview seems to go well (I'm polite, enthiusiastic and friendly during them).Anyway, I also recently got asked out for a night by a girl over a dating site who I'd been talking to, who seemed really into me. She'd seen photos, we'd talked a lot online. Romantic luck at least? Nope. Despite always replying to me very quickly in the past if I messaged her, she's not been in touch since despite saying she would be (it's been a week) and has ignored a casual message I sent her re: some other stuff and saying I enjoyed the night and would meet again if she was keen. She logged into the dating site a few times and has definitely read my message by the way, so it's not that she hasn't been online.I just don't know what to do at the moment. I don't know what I want, and any options that do arise quickly end in rejection. I'm also stuck in this city as I signed a lease (another dumb decision) and I feel really helpless. A large part of me can't envision any real hope in the near future, I sort of want to just go to bed and stay there for good. Although I also occasionally feel angry and motivated towards change. It's not a good time. I'm even tempted to cancel going to the lab where I did my degree's Christmas dinner night as I'm kind of ashamed at being a failure and really don't want to talk to them about it, as I know some of them will be judgemental.I guess any advice on how to pick myself back up would be great.
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male
reader, ironman777  +, writes (11 December 2012):
Hey there - it sounds to me like your going through a period of readjustment after finishing your education - for people who are driven and determined to finish things once they have done so, there is often a feeling of being let down and confused that there should be more than this.... buts thats life im afraid. My suggestion is to keep trying with the job hunt - it will happen you just have to get out and start meeting people in the flesh - go to job agencies and getting your face known. Doors will open Im sure of it. You may need to consider a slight move away from your degree subject also - I was a computer engineer and my first job out of university was being a concrete engineer... not quite the same thing!!Once you have job you will be fine I think....good luck
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