A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello! :)I'm a 19-year-old girl who has a 31-year-old boyfriend. We're from very different cultures and things have been bumpy recently for us. We've only been together for six months, but somehow I feel unhappy when I'm with him. I'm a helplessly romantic and he's more relaxed about flowers and candles and stuff. So I feel I'm the one who gives more. And when I mentioned the love-me-or-not thingy he said he liked me a lot, which means he wasn't in love.He's not using me. He introduced me to his family and friends and even offered to take me back to his country for Christmas. When I said it's not possible he wanted me to promise that I'd go back next summer with him to attend a wedding. But still, it hurts too much to think that he doesn't love me. I feel I have to compete with his first 5-year girlfriend(she's the only one he fell for) and I always felt miserable.I broke up with him and he cried and begged me to stay.. But I know he's like that because he's a loner and except me he doesn't even have a friend to talk to, not to mention having a fun intellectual fight with. After two days, he called me and asked if we could meet up and talk this out. He begged again, saying he'd try to change and I eventually gave in. But after I took him back I didn't really feel good. He might never love me. And when he realizes that and breaks up with me, I'll be hurt even more than I do now.Should I have left him hanging for a few more weeks to make him realize that he loves me? Or is this relationship wrong from the beginning? I feel so miserable. Please help.
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (5 December 2014):
 I have to say you should have NOT taken him back at all. You can not "make" a guy love you. And this guy? Doesn't love you the way you want a man to love you.
And Peppe is right, you do not "compete" with exes. They were them, you are you. A whole other person. IF you feel like it's a competition then he isn't OVER his ex.
I'd say walk away. Let him find someone better suited for him, and YOU find someone better suited for YOU.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (4 December 2014):
 You ask: "....Should I have left him hanging for a few more weeks to make him realize that he loves me?..."
No, you should have left him hanging FOR EVER.... YOU can't "make (a guy) him realize that he loves me...." any more than you can tell him to eat his carrots at every dinner...... "Loving" someone comes from within....
Don't fool yourself...
Good luck....
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