A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I have been seeing this girl for 2 months. At the moment we are in differnt cities about 1hr flight apart. A couple of weeks ago during a weekend visit to her, we were discussing our past experiences where I mentioned that a couple of years ago I had gone through a period of depression caused mainly by confusion in my career and a break up with my then girlfriend and that I was anti-depressants for a while and saw a psychologist to help me overcome it.She seemed a bit shocked at first and said she couldn't relate as she hasn't known anyone who suffered from depression. She admitted that she has lived a very sheltered life. I asked if it made no difference on how she felt about me and she said no not all.When I returned home next day she called me that night and said that she wished I hadn't told her that as she couldn't sleep the night before and was thinking about it all day and suggested that she was uncomfortable with what I went through mainly because she felt she would always be worried about what she said to me in case I got upset. I tried explaining to her a little about depression and how it's brought on by a traumatic experience not becuase someone said something to upset you. We ended the conversation with her suggesting she didn;t want to see me anymore and didn't think there was anything I could say to change how she felt.I sent an email to her the next day explaining in more detail what I went through to try to alleviate her fears and becuase I was caught off guard the night before and asked she think about what I said and perhaps we can discuss further in a few days. She didn't respond to the email. The following week I sent her some flowers with a message saying how I missed her and was thinking about her and would still like to discuss things. She didn't acknowledge that she received the flowers. Do you think she is contemplating everything or is just ignoring me hoping I'll leave her alone? Am thinking of calling her soon to see which.Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008): Sorry babes, depression is a challenging illness, and she would only make you feel worse and put back your recovery because she really dosen't understand. Stay strong, cut your losses and move on, she's not the right woman for you, another one will be along shortly, so don't worry about anything.
A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (18 June 2008):
 how shallow and narrow minded-would she be there for anyone when they were low?
what about when she is low, who will pick up the pieces?
your better off without her as if you cannot trust someone then at least you know now although it sounds to me like she was looking for an excuse to end a relationship that had the odds stacked against it logisitically (1hr flight distance).
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (18 June 2008):
 If this treatment is what you get from being open with this girl, well then I think you need to look elsewhere for a relationship. She obviously has more issues in life and cannot accept you as you are. If she is looking for the 'perfect' person out there, she will spend her life looking because everybody has issues, whether they be big or small! You sound like a wonderful person, move on with your life there will be someone out there just right for you and will accept everything you are.
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