A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear Aunties and UnclesI reacquainted with an ex boyfriend last year and its been great reestablishing our friendship again. I dont ever want to lose it again. We had been intimate but I am going to make it clear the next time i see him that I do not want to be a friend with benefits plus its complicating my current situation that I am trying to sort out.I want to speak to him about something that happened to me while we were younger and seeing each other. He admitted to me that he had fallen in love with a girl he was working with. I knew her and she knew me although we were not friends. Apparently she was not interested in him and he felt really hurt.During this time strange things started happening to me. I was one in the bank queuing up and I could have swore I saw him a few people in front. the person turned around and it was not him.On another occasion I passed a telephone box and swore I saw the girl he had the crush on making a call. I drove pass again just to realise it was not her.I was thinking about telling him about how his behaviour affected me. Would this be a good idea. We have spent a lot of time talking about the past. We are both getting older and lost a lot of friends so are making up on lost time.I know a lot of people like to judge on here in a negative way - WE ARE ONLY FRIENDS.
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (15 February 2016):
 I agree with Cindy.
I don't think there is much point in bringing up and re-hashing the past.
It's not going to fix the issue YOU have. That is something you need to work on.
Seeing or think you are seeing people who hurt you, right after a break up is not entirely uncommon - but your ex didn't DO that to you. That was more likely your brain trying to make sense of things.
Don't live in the past. Live in the here and now.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 February 2016):
 Maybe I did not quite understod the situation, or your actual question, ... but, as it is, I don't see why you would talk to your ex about these episodes.
I mean, it's not forbidden of course, he's your friend and you can tell him what you want, but... what for ?.. What this particular fact should show him, or express to him.
What you say is normal and ordinary occurrence, I would not take it ( and he would not take it ) as a sign that he affected you in any special way.
When you have something in mind, good or bad, is always very present to your awareness, and you either are quick to see it if it's there, or to THINK you saw if it isn't.
If you want to get pregnant, all of a sudden you see tons of pregnant women, If you are think of buying, say, a German shepherd, all of the sudden it will seem that ALL the dogs you come across are German shepherds. And if you have a bf, or dear friend, who's just left for a trip abroad and CAN'T possibly be where you are ,...still you may find yourself telling youself " Hey!... isn't that X at the front of the queue ?!".
So, if you want to tell him tell him, but I don't see what this would signify or accomplish.
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