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I think I have a physical sexual problem but don't want to tell my mom! What should I do?

Tagged as: Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 August 2013) 10 Answers - (Newest, 2 September 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I don't know if I should be asking for this kind of advice on here or not but I don't know where to go with it. I'm shy and don't want to speak to/show my mum, but I have a problem with my vagina, i don't know how to explain the problem and i am not going to go into detail, but basically I think there are things there that shouldn't be. There are never any female doctors in my local doctor surgery and I don't want to share this with a male doctor as I am really shy and embarrassed about it.

Where can I go with this? Who can I see?

View related questions: shy, vagina

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (2 September 2013):

Maybe you should send the tumblr website an anonymous picture. I'm sure it's nothing but it would save you the potential embarrassment of having to show someone in person.

Unfortunately for women there seems to be so much variation in what vaginas look like that it makes them think there's isn't "normal". But let me tell you, 99% of guys won't see anything other than heaven when they look at it.

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A female reader, Aunty Babbit United Kingdom +, writes (1 September 2013):

Aunty Babbit agony auntIf your GP surgery has a practice nurse you can book in to see her, if the receptionist asks the reason just say it's personal.

Alternatively you can Google the address and telephone number for your local well woman clinic, you can ask to be seen by A female practitioner.

I was a practice nurse and well woman advisor for many years as well as a midwife and have seen many different lady parts and trust me I bet you're not as unusual or different as you might think.

Please don't be scared. There are people who can reassure you or assist you if there was a problem.

I hope this helps and I wish you all the best. AB x

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A female reader, Got Issues United Kingdom +, writes (1 September 2013):

Got Issues agony auntYou are probably normal. Unless I missed something during science class, I don't think it's physically possible for your ovaries to hang outside of your body. Some people just have very big labia. Go to the doctor and get checked out. Even if it's a man, he seriously will not care. As patients we find certain things really embarrassing, or think that we are disgusting. Doctors don't. They look for a problem and they try to fix it. The end.

And honestly, women's southern areas vary so much that it would have to be pretty extreme to be considered anything but normal.

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (1 September 2013):

Abella agony auntGee I have a lady Doctor and I even sometimes wish I had a male Doctor. But either way Doctors just see it as machinery to examine. Your ovaries are tucked up well inside you. But there are often longer or wider flaps for some women and it's very easily attended to. Make that call to see the Doctor as soon as possible. You may be a whole lot more normal than you think. Or the Doctor may have some helpful advice and suggestions to assist. But see the Doctor asap.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2013):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

It is like excess skin hanging from my vagina, I've looked on that tumblr website and i thought it was my labia but it looks a lot more loose than that and it isn't that shape. It's the shape of my ovaries, which worries me.

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A female reader, MsSadie United States +, writes (1 September 2013):

MsSadie agony auntSorry, honey, but you're going to have to go into a little bit more detail than that.

By "things there that shouldn't be there" do you mean bumps, blemishes, extra skin, discharge, male parts, discoloration?

Have you had any other symptoms besides things not looking right?

Are you sexually active?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (1 September 2013):

Honeypie agony auntGynecologist, but you would probably have to go though your doctor or your health insurance. Not sure how that would work in the UK. And ask for a female one.

My guess without knowing what it is you think you have that shouldn't be there, i the top of your uterus.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2013):

Rest assured that male doctors will be used to seeing lady parts and would always ask a chaperone to be in the room but I do understand your discomfort at seeing a male doctor.

Living in the UK you are entitled to see a female doctor if you want to. Most GP practices have at least one female doctor working there even if she is only part-time. If your practice has no female GPs at all you need to ask them what provision they make for female patients.

If they decline this, you can register at a different GPs practice. If you're over 18 there's no need to stay with your family's regular practice.

The website "NHS choices" will help you find a GP practice.

You could also try a sexual health clinic but they are more used to dealing with contraception and STDs rather than general questions.

If you are still in education, your university or college health service may be able to help you out.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2013):

Before you go to the doctor, if you haven't done so already you should look at pictures of vaginas. Not porn, but normal vaginas. I believe there is a good tumblr that shows women's vaginas in all their natural glory. The purpose of the blog is to let women know that vaginas come in all shapes and sizes. You'd be surprised how many people think there is something wrong with themselves.

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A male reader, DKW United Kingdom +, writes (31 August 2013):

Nobody knows who you are, where you are, anything...there are no trolls here either so you may as well give some of the ladies here a few details, they may be able to set your mind at rest.

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