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I think he might have been the one. He's dating someone else now. Should I tell him how I feel?

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Question - (26 March 2013) 8 Answers - (Newest, 27 March 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, *oggle2013 writes:

Help!! Should I tell him how I feel?

9 months ago I finished dating a guy I had been seeing for 14 months. I hadn't slept with him because I have always wanted to wait for the 'right one' also I was going away travelling for two months so didn't want to get into anything serious.

So we casually dated for the first few months. I wasn't keen. He kept chasing. As he chased I started to get to know him better and started to fall for him. I was unhappy with my weight. He saud my weight didn't bother him.

So he kept chasing until I started to like him, we were about to take things to the next level and he left me for another 'easier' girl. They are still together.

I feel like maybe he was 'the one' but I messed up. There are pictures all over Facebook now of them and it upsets me so much to see them together. He has been emailing saying he'd like to stay friend's but then ignores me for ages. I miss him. Should I tell him how I feel? This girl moved in with him after 6 months.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (27 March 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntthe first thing to do to move on is delete him from your life... no facebook (block him and his gf)

congrats on the weight loss.... keep being healthy happy and whole and this too shall pass.

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A female reader, Boggle2013 United Kingdom +, writes (26 March 2013):

Boggle2013 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for your replies- yes I know deep down I have to move on.I guess I secretly hoped their relationship wouldn't work (selfish I know).

I have learnt a lot about myself through this experience.

I know I need to delete them on Facebook- it is so heart breaking seeing all the photos. I keep thinking 'that could be me' but at the time I just wasn't feeling it- so guess it's jealousy in a way.

Other guys fancy me, I've been trying to date, etc. Get more attention these days because I've lost 5 stone!!! But deep down I think about my ex quite a bit. Any tips on how to move on.....?

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A female reader, Boggle2013 United Kingdom +, writes (26 March 2013):

Boggle2013 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for your replies- yes I know deep down I have to move on.I guess I secretly hoped their relationship wouldn't work (selfish I know).

I have learnt a lot about myself through this experience.

I know I need to delete them on Facebook- it is so heart breaking seeing all the photos. I keep thinking 'that could be me' but at the time I just wasn't feeling it- so guess it's jealousy in a way.

Other guys fancy me, I've been trying to date, etc. Get more attention these days because I've lost 5 stone!!! But deep down I think about my ex quite a bit. Any tips on how to move on.....?

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (26 March 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntHe’s over and done with you. DO not tell him how you feel, it’s useless, he’s with someone else now.

YOU did not mess up. I think you need to unfriend him and block him on facebook so you can’t see what he’s up to. Block his email too. He wants to be friends so he doesn’t feel like a failure… that’s what we say to ex partners that we just didn’t mesh with when we break up… we can be friends… my mother used to call it “the kiss of death”… it’s just a gentle way of breaking up…

Time to let this go and move on.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (26 March 2013):

Honeypie agony auntNo, don't tell him. He is with someone else. He couldn't even be bothered to wait til you were READY.

Waiting to be ready is a GOOD thing, that is how you weed out the guys who are looking for sex, and those who are looking for a relationship.

As for the girl and moving in, not everyone moves at the same speed, maybe, she moves more at his speed then you did. Don't feel bad for that.

Let him go, and look elsewhere.

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (26 March 2013):

k_c100 agony auntHe is clearly happy with his new girlfriend, they are living together so it must be very serious. Dont try and get in the way of his happiness, I'm sure you dont want to be a homewrecker so just leave him alone.

He left you, he moved on with someone else - time for you to move on too. As much as you liked this man, there will be other men out there who you like as well, just learn a lesson for next time and make sure you dont make it so hard for a guy to get close to you and be so cold towards them.

Telling him how you feel will achieve nothing, he will just reject you and tell you what you should already know - that he has moved on and is not interested anymore. Move on and focus on meeting someone new, someone who is single and available.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2013):

He isn't 'the one' for you. You would have at least thought he might be much earlier.

If he was 'the one' he would have never let you go, and he would know that YOU are 'the one' for him too. I know it is hard, but you have to believe, if a man wants you, nothing will stop him from trying to be with you, and if he doesn't want you , there is nothing you can do to convince him to.... You don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you.

He has moved on, let him go and make room for Mr right to come in to your life.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (26 March 2013):

eyeswideopen agony auntIf he was still interested he'd still be chasing you. Since he he has obviously moved on and is in another relationship I think you should read the writing on the wall.

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