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I still love him but am unsure if I should answer his messages.

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 July 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 16 July 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend brokeup with me two months ago and after a couple of days he send me a message saying he is sorry for how things turned out but i did not reply back. now after one and a half month of no contact. he send me a message on fb. we are not friends on fb. he send a message saying hello, I had a dream about you that you are very busy working. Is it true? i have lost my phone and not sure if you have tried to contact me but iam sorry for how i hurt you. It makes me feel sick. hope you are happy. i had changed my fb work status as wokring for some company during the evening and the next morning i got this message from him. I do not know what he wants. I do still love him. should i reply to his email and if i should then what should i write. I am not sure as i do not want to mess things up.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (16 July 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntmy son broke up with a girl and he's very sorry he did. I wish he would contact her and see if they can fix it but he won't.

contact him. see what is going on... especially if you think you two could work it out...

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A female reader, IamJess United Kingdom +, writes (15 July 2012):

IamJess agony auntThink why you broke up and then ask yourself that question again, if you broke up for a reason and wasn't working or something worse then that, then is it really worth putting yourself through the hurt again? Although you still love him and care about him, maybe your better off without him, and are happier without him.

Sometimes its easier to let the person go then to have all the heartache back again.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (15 July 2012):

Honeypie agony auntI guess it depends on what you really want.

I unlike Janniepeg don't believe in taking breaks in a relationship. It's marathon, not a sprint with stops and starts. There will be ups and downs, but both parties should be willing to make it work. Throwing you hands in the air and "giving" up only to look back later on with regret and try again hoping you can recreate the same feeling you had in the beginning of the "first" go around, I think it's unrealistic.

The thing is, if you want to talk to him, if you either need closure or you want to see if he still feels something for you, then maybe talking to him on e-mail isn't such a bad idea. After all you can set the pace.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (15 July 2012):

janniepeg agony auntI have begun to realize a relationship that's all smooth with no breaks can be unrealistic. Sometimes a break up is what's needed to create changes in habits that's once harmful to the relationship before. You decide if you can forgive him and move forward. You know him more than I do. Only you can tell if he's sincere. There is also this stereotype that men treat break ups as temporary while women think it's forever. Men take a longer time to miss a person, while for women it's out of sight out of mind. If you do see him again in person you could make a better decision. You don't know what to write. I don't blame you. You don't have to write anything, unless something compells you to but obviously now there's nothing. If he really wants you back he will find a way to see you.

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