A
female
age
36-40,
*illianmayes
writes:i know its wrong of me but i recently went thru my bfs cell phone and found things that bother me. How can i confront him without him knowing i went in his phone? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (9 December 2009):
I'm with the others. You've snooped and found something. You can't confront him unless you say you snooped, so you have to confess and see what happens.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): Things on his phone were not meant for you to read or see, unless he gave you access to it. That means that even if it could be hurtful, it wasn't written with the intention that you would read it. There's a difference there because everyone knows or says things that could be hurtful to others, so the harsh truth we keep away from them. It doesn't mean we lie to each other, it just means we tell the cuter version to each other not to hurt feelings. Everyone does that. So if what you found out was of that nature I would suggest you don't confront him at all, but learn to live with it and not snoop again.
My mother once read my diary, and she read a section that I wrote on a day I in particular couldn't stand her. I wrote many many bad things that I wouldn't have ever told her straight to her face, and that in retrospect I don't care about anymore. It hurt her feelings to read what I wrote, but it was she who was snooping. It was never meant for her to read, so why would I have tried to make it sound sweeter than it was?
Point is: whatever it is you found out, it was probably none of your business.
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A
female
reader, Melys  +, writes (9 December 2009):
 You can either forget about the things you found on his phone...or you admit to him that you went through his phone...just apologise but it's something you had to do, and won't do it again...
I'm sure you'll get the reassurance you need..
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, Lys  +, writes (9 December 2009):
It depends what bothers you on it and if you think you may need to hold on until you get the bigger picture. If you got an ace dont play it until the last card is dealt. It sounds like you are just in the gathering stage
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): Agree with EmilysA! Lots of people go thru partners phones... I do!! I know its snoopy but lets be honest the temptation is too great! Anyhows.... tell him you did it and apologise if he is offended and just ask outright about whats bothering you! Nobody's perfect!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): If there are things going on that affect you personally or your relationship with him, then you should explain what you did and ask for some answers. He may not like that you looked at his phone but if what hes doing impacts on you, it would be wise to sort the matter out with him.
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A
female
reader, Courts4 +, writes (9 December 2009):
 You need to ask him
Its just gonna put your mind at ease
If he is busy with other this
Why is he wasting your time ?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): What a breach of trust.
Why do people, women in particular, think it is OK to invade someone's privacy like that? Cellphone records ARE personal, as personal as private letters - would you check his private correspondence? Go through his wallet?
YOU cannot be trusted in this relationship; you need to own up, apologise and leave. There is no future for you with him if you can do that.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (9 December 2009):
You can't. Own up to being a snoop and then deal with it.
You can't stay as the victim in this without taking responsibility for your own actions.
Good Luck!! xx
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