A
female
age
26-29,
*ocker_grl_96
writes:So 2 days ago i had a really vivid dream that i loved .....about my ex, every time i woke up i would keep going back to sleep hoping it would never end and i was really sad when it did. In the dream I was like 22 or something and I was really pregnant and married very happily to my ex boyfriend. My ex boyfriend, so far, was the best bf i ever had, we dated for 7 months which is longer than i have dated anyone and he was my first kiss. I broke up with him because i was on the high school swim team at the time and we never saw each-other and i thought that we acted more like siblings than a couple cause i am so shy about lovey type stuff, if any indication, he was my first kiss, but we only kissed 3 times in the 7 months we dated, also i think a girl i know that i thought was my friend, who i now think is just a bitch hell bent on making everyone she knows life miserable just fed lines to me about how we weren't lovey enough and how we acted like sibs so i think after a while i forced myself to believe her words because i tend to do that A LOT. Everyone thought we were a cute couple and they were pretty mad at me for breaking up with him, then when i got a new bf they all said he was a douche and i ignored them until outta no where he broke up with me in the worst way possible. We went to 9th grade formal monday night and went out for frozen yogurt with like 8 other people afterward then i texted him after we dropped him off at his house asking if he was coming to recognition the next day all i got back was a "no i am not coming" then i kept texting him over and over again and he never texted me back then it was Wednesday and he still hadn't talked to me since monday night so i texted him saying he was really upsetting me and if he didn't respond within 24 hour we were most likely gonna be through. then 10 minutes later while i was taking a bath me friend text me saying he had changed his facebook relationship status to single. To this day he has not spoke a word to me and it has been a month. Anyways no i am seriously regretting breaking up with my ex. He was perfect and everything i had ever wanted. when i was 10 i wrote a note describing my ideal guy and he fit it perfectly. But a serious problem i have now is that he hates me for breaking up with him cause i literally broke his heart, i know that and everyone we know told me too. Now he also is dating a foreign girl from Brazil and she is really pretty and exact opposite of me. But it in also a known fact that her family is moving back to Brazil this summer sometime. i doubt they will be having that long of a long distance relationship and i know they aren't even close to as close as him and i were so now i don't know what to do.......please help me.....what should i do????
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice  + ♥, writes (20 June 2011):
 A note about dreams and a direct answer to what you should do.
Dear Rocker grl 96,
Dreams are more symbolic than prophetic. Most often when we dream about being with an ex it is comparing where we are now with where we were with them. Some times as a warning. In this case your subconscious mind was telling you that you were much happier in a long term way with the older boyfriend. The contentment in your dream was a reflection of your contentment with him. Much of that happiness was because he wasn't pushy about that "lovey stuff" that you are uncomfortable with. The dream is trying to focus your search for new friend in the right direction. Look for a patient guy who has similar qualities.
I am very glad to see that you are here on cupid asking and getting advice from older people. Your last source of advice was not a good one. Telling you to get too physical too soon is the worst kind of advice for a girl your age. I want to add that you should not be so rushed to be exclusive. At your age a group of good friends with similar goals and values is much better than a (too early) attachment. You team is a good possibility, the "b***" who pushes you to do things you don't want to do is not. Dorothy is exactly right that over the next 7 (at least) years you will have many loves. Whenever you are in one of these (very real) relationships try to remember that most likely it is a temporary thing. Try to be kind and not leave embarrassing scars. You don't want to be blushing when you meet them at a high school reunion years from now. Or in the halls weeks from now.
On the other hand you are young and human, you will make mistakes like dumping the guy on bad advice. Apologize and move on. He will be happier about it if he sees you being happy. You are tempted right now to try to win him back. Don't try, he is in a relationship and you will hurt him and her and wind up with a bad reputation. Focus on your group of good friends instead. Let them know that you wish you had got advice from them before you made that mistake. Eat a little humble pie, it's good for the soul. The great thing about your age is that you have lots of time for do-overs.
FA
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (20 June 2011):
Hi there. The reason you broke it off with the first boyfriend of 7 months, was because of your swim team commitments, so it wasn't like you had a big fight.
I think I might be a little bit confused here, because you also mention a new boyfriend who no-one liked.
This is 2 different boyfriends, is that right?
But it's the first boyfriend that you would like a future with isn't it? NOT the one who no-one liked.
The first boyfriend of 7 months, is the one who you dreamt about.
Dreams often have a significant role in our lives. They can often foretell part of our future.
It's possible that the dream you had when you believe you were about 22 years old, and you were pregnant, could come true. That is about another 7 years or so from now (if you are 15 years old now).
But at this stage of the game, you can't make it happen now just because you want it to. It can't be rushed or forced. All things need to unfold naturally - of their own accord.
In the meantime, you are going to have to just get on with your life, finish your education and live a bit more of life.
In doing this, don't live every day of your life keeping that dream in mind all the time. Because if you do, you won't really live the life you are meant to be living. You will miss many opportunities to do things, travel, have fun and meet other nice young men along the way.
It's very likely that you will probably date many nice young men during the next 7 years and you have to go through that stage of your life, otherwise you won't know that he is the right one for you.
In fact, you don't really know for sure now, that he is "Mr Right" for you. Yes, it feels that way to you now, but until you go out with other young men to compare him with, you are never really going to know for sure. It's therefore going to take some time to realize.
It's a necessary stage of life for you to go through. And it's an important stage as well.
This stage is just as necessary for him also.
Everything in good time. All is, as it should be.
For the next 7 years or so of your lives, you will both be finishing your educations, going to work, dating other people and perhaps doing some travel etc.
Then one day, when you aren't even thinking about, you will probably just meet up again at a function or a birthday party, get talking and the rest will be history.
But the main point is, Life has to happen in between.
If you are both meant to be together, then in time you will be.
...............................
A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (20 June 2011):
 gawdddd.. just be single.. i would never go back to a girl that broke up with me. focus on your homework...okok you mite get him back if you beg i mean really beg well it works for cute little puppies
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