A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I recently had an affair. It was very intense and I thought we both loved each other deeply. I was preparing to leave my partner for him and them abruptly he finished it, claiming he couldn't destroy my family. He wanted to remain friends although I was deeply hurt and still love him, I thought we had achieved this and had started to feel better about the situation.I thought I might see him this weekend, as a friend but now he won't answer his phone to me, or respond to my texts. I am so hurt, because he said, that despite everything, he would always be there for me and now he is just ignoring me. I am so angry and crushed by this, I don't know what to do next. Because this was an illicit affair, there is no one I can talk to about what I am going through. I can't stop crying.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): I was let go tonight. He was honorable, he didn't want to be a liar. We had one long weekend in the physical, and a year of emotional intimacy in the virtual. I do not feel good about falling for another woman's man. I did believe he was the 'one'. I know now that your heart betrays you, don't listen to it.Your head is better. Your heart doesn't know, it really doesn't know. Feeling like I should learn macrame and get cats, alot of cats. AARRGGHH. I know this, if a man wants you, there is no doubt about it, if he doesn't, you will be filling in blanks for him, justifying things,making excuses. If you have to do any of that,if you are left to read between lines, the lines aren't really there. He's not really there. We are not to make a priority of someone who only sees us as options. I'll learn that, I swear I'll learn that.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2007): hiya im here because of a simler situation, i do feel for you the hardest thing is hiding how upset you are from your family, its hard to say weather he did have 2nd thoughts about breaking up your family or he just wanted out, you know him best, all i do know is chasing him will make him run away faster but its sometimes impossible not too.
chin up you worth better
xxx
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A
female
reader, AskEve + ♥, writes (28 May 2007):
 He may have been genuine saying he was breaking up with you because he didn't want to destroy your family but I think there's more to it. He may be married and hasn't told you or he might be back with his girlfriend... but I think there's more to this. I don't think you'll ever find the truth and I agree, you didn't know him as well as you first thought. Learn by this and move on, he doesn't deserve you.
Whether you choose to remain with your partner is another thing you might want to think seriously about...
Eve
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A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (28 May 2007):
 He's probably hurt. I understand that you're hurting, but he is still the person you thought that he was. He had the right to say that to you. You broke his trust and disrespected him in one of the most hurtful ways. The truth is that you're obviously not the person that he thought that you were. He believed in you, and the bottom line is that you messed that up. If you cheat on someone, you never actually loved them and/or respected him. You made your choice, knew that there would be consequences, and yet are shocked at the results. You should take this as a lesson for the future. In your next relationship, if you're falling out of love with someone, do good by them and end the relationship amicably instead of cheating and breaking trust.
DV1
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for taking the time to reply. We were together almost 6 months. We met through an internet message board and so had been friends for a few months before starting the relationship. Initially he had a girlfriend too but finished with her to be with me. Since writing initially, he has been touch to say he wants no more to do with me. I have asked him why the complete change of heart but doubt i'll get a response. After being so close with someone, sharing so much, and risking everything I have, I am hurt beyond belief. I think ultimately he is not the person I thought he was.
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (28 May 2007):
When you love someone, sometimes it's better to let them go. He probably realized that.
DV1
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A
female
reader, AskEve + ♥, writes (28 May 2007):
Was this guy married or in a relationship too? It seems to me one of three things. (1)Either his conscience has kicked in and he feels bad that he's seeing you when you already have a partner, (2) Because the relationship was so intense he may be a bit frightened of the feelings he's started to have for you and has taken a step back for space to work out his feelings or (3) He's just used you for sex, got what he wanted and has decided to move on. How long did this affair last and how did you meet him?
Eve
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