A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was married for seven years. My ex and I have a child together but I still have feelings for him. He broke up with me because we did not have sex for months. He was also upset that I spent to much time with my family. I have 5 siblings and 9 nieces and nephews that all live together.I left his mom because I was always with his parents and sisters we lived there to save for a house. One day he was upset that the camping plans changed with my family. He kept arguing with me and the conversation got heated and he kicked me out of the house. We broke up well he ended the relationship. A few days later i went on vacation with my family I ran into my ex I was gone for a month. My ex in another county rekindled the relationship and I got engaged. Yes I was still married. My husband/ex husband picked me up to apologize but I told him I am engaged and that I moved on. He was not happy. A few months go by a and we break up me and my fiancé. In the mean time my ex/husband met someone. I did not think they were serious because he was always head over heals for me. I wanted him back because I had no else plus we have a kid together he told me no. We would not be getting back together. We got divorced I begged him to fix the marriage. He has said no. Two years later he’s married again and has a baby on the way. He dated her while we were still married. I am not sure how to get him back? I’ve used my sons school events to see him and his birthday it’s not working. How do I get him back ? I believe I can still try. When I pick my son up he always stares. I am sure he has feelings still.
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (5 November 2022):
 Just occasionally there are posts on this site which make me burst out laughing at the audacity and irony contained therein. This has been one of them.
You really have zero room to take the moral high ground over your ex husband's dating while you were still married when you admit "I got engaged. Yes I was still married."
Further, you actually admit "I wanted him back because I had no else". Wow, how flattering for your ex husband.
You had the chance to get back with your ex husband but chose to stay with someone you had got engaged to after a month. Your ex then moved on and found someone who wanted to be with him. They are now married and having a child. Your ship has sailed and you need to get over it and move on with your life.
Frankly, both you and your ex husband sound impulsive and more than a little desperate to be in a relationship - ANY relationship. This may be a good time for you to learn to stand on your own two feet so that you are not so desperate for a relationship that you get engaged after a month with someone.
As for your ex staring at you, he is probably wondering what you are going to try next to lure him away from his wife. Stop acting so desperate and move on.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (5 November 2022):
 "How do I get him back ? I believe I can still try. "
OP, your ex is not a toy you can put down and pick up at your whim.
You got engaged before your divorce was final?!! Who does that?!
How desperate are you to have a husband?
I think YOU need to take some time, find a counselor and try and figure out what is going on in your head. You seem to live in some la-la land where divorce is just a "thing" to do...
Your EX is with someone else. He had a KID with someone else. Seems like he is pretty serious about HER and his new family.
You need help, OP
And a serious reality check.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2022): You can't get him back, obviously! Since when did staring mean you have feelings for someone? Staring is staring, and that is all it is! You have to have the ability to read minds to know what's behind a stare. You can add any meaning to it you want. Even if feelings are still there; he has moved on, remarried, and started another family.
Have you considered that the feelings are rebound-feelings, due to a failed-relationship? You need a down-time period for healing and detachment.
Nothing people will say on this site can just change what's in your heart. All we can do is encourage you to listen to your commonsense and face the reality. If you've loved a person, and gone as far as to marry them; it's normal to still have feelings for them, but not as strong as the love you held before. Maybe you still have them, but you can't be certain he does, or if they are the same kind of feelings. He could be worried about your state of mind; while you're living with the primary-custody of his kid.
Sometimes people remarry their exes; but statistics of reconciliation after divorce shows that the decision to reunite largely depends on the cause of separation. For the most part, people are expecting to pickup where they left-off. Like ending with a coma, and proceeding with the rest of the sentence; and ending it with a period. There is a gap caused by the divorce, and you took separate paths. If nobody has changed, all the conditions of the previous divorce is relatively the same; the likelihood of another divorce is probable, if not inevitable. Depending on how rocky your previous marriage was, and if you've learned anything in the meantime. Emotions aren't always based on truth and reality. Your imagination will create wonderful thoughts about reconciliation; but true-life may be entirely different from what you hope for.
You both have separate and different lives now. All that remains in common is a child; but things are more complicated by a new wife, and a child with her. He's in the middle, and pulled both-ways. The plus to still loving him will keep things civil for the child's sake.
Get some counseling either through your faith-ministry, or find a qualified counseling-therapist to deal with your lingering emotional-issues from your first-marriage. It isn't necessarily love behind it, it could be jealousy; and/or feelings of failure that you've never resolved. Your wishful mind might be going in the wrong direction; which means you'll be plotting ways to destroy his current marriage. If you did, it won't mean he'll want you back. It could be the extreme opposite. It's unhealthy to want what you can't have. You're prone to do something impulsive, or stupid.
Move on, or get help if you can't do it on your own.
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