A
female
age
41-50,
*em111
writes:I have been seeing a guy for about 5 months officially we were casually seeing each other for about 4 months previous, we started out as friends but there was loads of sexual chemistry between us all the time. When we first slept with each other it was not as i would have expected it was just average. He has always been a player and never had a serious relationship so i had a struggle on my hands when it came to getting him to commit what did it was when i said i wanted to go back to being just friends, he was upset and agreed to be in a relationship with me.Since then we have spent nearly every evening and weekend together, problem is the sex, he hardly ever wants it and when he does give in its not great and he never wants to do foreplay and lasts for about 5 to 10 mins. My mates and even myself have joked that he could be gay. he says he thinks it could be to do with the fact i have 2 kids and they still see there dad and it is hard for him to get used to also his family is very religious and dont know where together so this may play a part in it.He is away on holiday at the moment and i am seriously considering sleeping with another guy just for the sex as i have a high sex drive and just not been satisfied, i do really like this guy loads and with a lot of time and effort and me probably accepting a rubbish sex life we will probably have quite a long term relationship from how things seem to be progressing now. I really dont know what i should do should i cheat or keep suffering ???
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foreplay, on holiday, player, sex drive, sex life Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (24 May 2007):
 You need someone who is willing to please your needs. You should voice you concerns. If he refuses to satisfy you, go your separate ways.
DV1
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (24 May 2007):
 Why would you want to cheat? Have some integrity and do things in the proper order. Work on what you've got. If it doesn't get fixed, move on. Do it with your honor though. Cheating is just another ingredient in this complicated story. How do you know the guy you cheat with would be any better in bed? Do you have a conscience?
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (24 May 2007):
 There is a third option...find a new boyfriend.
I can not advise you to cheat...you could get pregant, get an STD and give it to your bf, or be abused by your lover. An affair is never as easy as it sounds.
You bf has issues with sex, and the fact he is not telling his family about you means he still needs to grow up and be a man. Seriously, break it off, and find someone else.
It has NOTHING to do with your ex and kids. He has GUILT issues with sex, and that will ruin everything you two build together.
Say goodbye. Your kids deserve a step-dad who is man enough to be proud of being in their family.
-FBK
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