A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My sister graduated university last june and as a result had a whole box of old stationary/notepads in her room at home which my mum said I could borrow since she left them behind when she moved out (she's currently renting a flat for a year as thats how long her job is before she moves back home). Shes always been into fitness and healthy eating (I always guessed because it was part of her degree course) and so when I found some of her old life planning journals (meal/excercise planning mostly) I thought it might be interesting and motivational as I'm not exactly the epitome of healthy living.However what I found was horrible, every day she'd record her meals and then angrily berate herself if she didnt stick to them, she wrote about how she hated herself and that she was pathetic and disgusting. Worst of all she frequently compared herself to me, often writing that she hated how I was smarter/prettier/more popular/more loved by our parents.The last entry stopped about a year ago, I know she's been a lot happier since having a long term boyfriend and it's obvious they are really in love. My sister is 22, she's got a job and seems pretty stable and happy, it's been a year since she's had those thoughts and I didn't mean to pry but once I read the bad bits I kept going and some of it is quite intimate. I want to help her if she needs it but I'm not sure whether to tell my parents or have a conversation with her about it and I know she'd find it awkward and embarrassing to talk about
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 November 2016):
 I think a lot off people go through a phase off hating themselves. If you think she is okay now then no don't tell your parents. That was her deepest darkest thoughts, and you should have stopped reading them when you realized what they where. I know you where probably curious, but she has the right to her privacy. It was probably best her writing all this down instead of actually bottling it all up so that is a good sign.
A
female
reader, Slippers +, writes (14 November 2016):
I agree with honey .. ( I hope it's okay honey pie to just say honey ?) Journals are our way of venting and usual getting negative thoughts out our head as mental health having a productive release is a really good thing .. you have read the journals so saying you shouldn't have .. though you shouldn't have as honey says .. These are private as soon as you started reading and discovered they were more than I ate two slice of buttered toast at 190 cals.. you should have stopped
Hard I know .. and you love your sister .. of course sibling compare themselves to each other .. They gauge how much ..Our parents love us ..who prettier etc .. sometimes parents forget these things themselves and daily life gets in the way .. I wouldn't say anything to your parents .. as they hadn't intentional done anything wrong ..
I would as honey suggests hand her the journals and say hey I found these .. and then see what she says .. If she is awkward do not bring anything up .. esp oo you thought me prettier and smarter etc ..Let it be .. or leave them at your parents until she wishes to get them herself and say nothing ..
These could with more thought raise sleeping dogs .. For your sister and the fact you raised them .. my advice
Is leave them where they are and say nothing !! I agree with honey never never read someone else's journal or diary unless you are invited to or it is an emergency as in life or death .. Their actions behaviour is so bizzare you have too ..
Your a loving sister so chin up and just let her collect them when need be . let's us know how it goes .
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A
female
reader, Slippers +, writes (14 November 2016):
I agree with honey .. ( I hope it's okay honey pie to just say honey ?) Journals are our way of venting and usual getting negative thoughts out our head as mental health having a productive release is a really good thing .. you have read the journals so saying you shouldn't have .. though you shouldn't have
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A
female
reader, Betty Blue Eyes +, writes (14 November 2016):
 If she's happy now there's no need to bring it up. You never know she could end up thinking all those thoughts again and remind her of things she might not even feel any more.I have a twin sister and at the moment I feel like I'm just as pretty, successful and well adjusted as her. But in the past I've certainly felt like the ugly sister, even though we look exactly the same! You yourself said that you thought you would read those journals because you are not the epitome of health, that suggests that you felt that she was doing a bit better than you at something.You feel the same way sometimes, thinking she's succeeding in something that you are not. You may not equate that to being pathetic or a loser and you don't berate yourself as she did for it but you still looked at the journals thinking she had a slight edge with that aspect of life.It's a good thing that she wrote those feelings down, if she prefers not to tell people how she's doing it's a good idea to write down exactly what you felt at the time. It's unloading negative thoughts on something, not keeping it all bottled up. If she started making life planning journals it suggests that she was a bit unhappy with life back then and made an effort to look at what she was unhappy with and could change.It looks like it worked anyway because you said she's happier. So I guess you already knew she was a bit down before as you've noticed the change before you even saw all this.As Honeypie said ask her if she wants the journals back, she may open up, but if she starts to seem sad again in the future ask her straight up if there's anything wrong.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2016): As honeypie says dont tell your parents unless she is doing badly and harming herself, as for her notes about you clearly she admired you and thought you are better than her. What is wrong in that?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (14 November 2016):
 Don't tell your parents unless she is doing badly. She might have outgrown that phase. She might have used them to vent in, which in itself is a good and healthy thing to do. And it really wasn't for you to read through all that. THAT was an invasion of your sister's privacy.
What you can do, is tell her I found these journals do you want them. Then if she wants to talk about it since you just gave her an opening.
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