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age
18-21,
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writes: I have been keeping imagine being in love with someone who loves me. Ridiculously,this makes me even more lonely. I have a girl who lives in a remote town in the mountains 3000 kilometers away.She is kind,pretty and pure.I come to acquaint ,like and fall for her two years ago via the Internet.I miss her whenever it is in my spare time.But she sometimes she doesn't want to talk to me and seems defensive from me,which confuse and depress me so much.I am not sure if she loves me even if she once said so.I am willing to be loyal to her if she need,but how can I make it clear if she loves me? Will the distant love between teenagers last for the life?How wonderful it would be If I could fall for only one girl with whom I live as long as I can breath! Thank you for reading.During the life is there so much time,but this moment you are reading my soul.I will appreciate it,my strange friend. There might be some mistakes in this composition for lack of ability to Use English well,this is my first time to post a question in English and I will try my best to improve myself.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2020): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for all the thoughtful and considerate answers by which I am moved .They helped me reflect on my relationships and daily lives.I must admit that it is my addiction to the Internet and my endless imagination about that fantascy that are stealing my childhood.I really shoud change myself and my habits,sticking to my hobbies.Noboby will fall for a man who has lost himself.
As for her,I am sorry but I argue that she did't trick me as I used to identify her position through phone numbers she offered?Besides I know a little about her school through an APP.She shared with me some photos about her daily life and scenery on the QQ.We used to talk on the phone,her voice was awesome and sounds a little shy.She used to encourage me everytime I am frustrated.Sometimes she said something sweet to me and calmed me down every time I am worried about her.(oops,I should try my best to limit my fantasy for her But this takes time) …
As for me,There was a time when it was very difficult for me to make friends because of some spots in my character,that's when she lightened my life as the moon brightens the dark night.It might be a little diffcult for me to forget her entirely.But I will do everything I can to change myself and now I understand I should appreciate her by not being obsessed with her and by living up to both her choice and my future,especially to those who care about me now.I will strick to my hobby and seek for my own happiness.I will put my mobile phone down for a while,stick to my hobbies and chase my own dream and get peapared to meet new friends.Moreover ,there is a significant exam in the summer.To some extent,It will decide where I wiil go and with whom I am going to meet.
In the end,thanks for helps from all over the world,best wishes to you.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (9 April 2020):
 Love is about sharing every day life and challenges, about caring for each other and being there for each other through everything life throws at you. It is not about some romantic dream of finding a pure girl and you both being happy ever after.
You don't even know this girl. It sounds like you have not even met. Have you even talked to her on the phone? Do you know she is who she says she is? It is easy to trick people on the internet, especially lonely people who are desperate to be loved.
There is a strong desire to be loved in most of us, especially if we feel unloved by those around us. You are lonely, hence your desire to be loved will be something you focus on to take away your loneliness. However, this is NOT love.
You need to get out and meet girls face to face. However, I would advise making friends with them first, not coming over all heavy about being in love, even if you believe you are. There are few things which will make girls run away quicker than a man who is obsessed with them. Be kind, be nice, be friendly, and the right girl will come into your life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2020): You're spending too much of your time romanticizing and daydreaming; and not enough time making friends and enjoying just being a teenage-kid.
You're going through puberty, so naturally you're discovering your hormones and girls. At the same time your life should be full of activities, socializing, and having fun. Cooped-up with your laptop or tablet all-day long will make you nothing but a lazy lump of meat. You need exercise, and should enjoy playing sports with other guys your age. Instead, you're all woozy and sappy over a girl who lives thousands of kilometers away! Do you want to know why she doesn't talk to you sometimes? It is because she wants to spend time with her friends. Maybe her parents think she's spending too much time online; and should pay more attention to her studies, and getting outside for some fresh air. They may even takeaway her internet privileges from from time to time. Meanwhile, my young friend, you need to get-out more!
Do you make good grades? Do you have a couple of good-buddies? Do you ever shutdown your device, and enjoy being a kid and running-around in the real-world?
You don't need anyone to love you; but the people you already have. Your family, your friends, and eventually a special-girl will definitely come-along and fulfill your dreams. She will not be permanent. There will be many who will come and go; because you have to get practice in interacting with random females in order to become sociable, confident, and well-balanced.
You should have at-least one good male-friend you have bonded with; who understands you, and you can trust enough to be yourself. If none of what I have suggested is going-on in your life; it means you are a slave to your digital devices. You're spending too much time in your fantasy-world. You are going to be a very awkward and unhappy kid; because you aren't enjoying just being young with no heavy responsibilities to tie you down. The world is passing you by; while you're busy being a tragic little online-Romeo!
SNAP OUT-OF-IT KIDDO!!!
Put your laptop down, and go make some friends!
You need fresh air, interests, hobbies, and exercise. You're still growing, and being shut-in moping over girls is going to make you boring and one-dimensional. Girls will find it hard to like you in real-life; because you are not practicing those basic-skills you need to have that will make finding what you want out in the real-world possible.
Meeting and interacting with people face-to-face broadens your interests, helps you to develop charm, and you'll be at-ease when connecting with both males and females. You can't sit around in lala-land wanting a girlfriend or pining over this girl living so faraway.
She will eventually find a boy close to where she is; and if you don't enjoy your youth while you have it, you will miss it. Ever see those older-guys who dress like kids? Trying to recapture their boyhood when they're too old, looking foolish in the process. Have your ever read those very sad posts from guys in their 20s and 30s who never had a girlfriend? They never ventured-out, or took a risk at developing their people-skills. They never developed natural confidence; but instead let their imaginations lead them to believe nobody will could ever love them. They let a few let-downs or disappointments totally discourage them; because they've lived life shut-away with their fantasies. Some have mental-health issues they need therapy for; but you are at an age when you can expand your horizons, and develop in a healthy way.
Go have some fun, and forget about her for awhile. Like she's doing when you don't hear from her!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (8 April 2020):
 She is a fantasy. The person you THINK (in your mind's eye) she is and the ACTUAL real person are two different people. Without doubt.
What you feel is not love. It's a crush on a fantasy person that you have build in your head and imagination by talking to this girl. Almost like a celebrity crush. Where people think they "fall in love" with an actor, but it's actually the character they PLAY in a movie, tv-show, musical, theater production, even a carton, that they find enticing, attractive, and longing for. NOT the real actual person. Which is why people react so strongly when they hear their favorite actor has done something bad. They might even feel betrayal. But they never KNEW the actual person.
As for long distance love. It's sweet. Realistically, it's far more likely that it will run it's course. Because you can't spend time in person. And for some just talking over tech (internet, phone) becomes impersonal. And when you then DO meet in person, it might seem perfect at first until you realize that the person in front of you is a stranger. Not a total stranger but not who you thought they were going to be.
My advice to (especially) teenagers and young folks, try and avoid long distance romances. Find someone who lives close enough that you can spend time with them IN person. THAT is truly how you get to know someone. You get to share (hopefully) hobbies, interests which leads to having things to talk about, which again leads to showing you both more about the other person. Their personality, likes, dislikes, hopes, dreams etc.
It would be a LOVELY thought to find ONE person in your teen years and that's it! No more searching, no broken hearts or hurt feelings. Again, realistically? Probably not going to happen.
People grow and change. What you want in a partner/love interest at age 16-20 is probably NOT what you want from a partner/love interest at 25 or 30 or older.
You have put a lot of energy into this dream of yours that SHE is "the one" because it makes you feel less lonely, it also gives you hope that you will find someone to love and who will love you back. Both are nice. But not always reality. She might not BE "the one". She might just be a VERY special girl.
Maybe take a little time and think why you feel lonely and why you looked for love 3000 km away.
If the girl doesn't seem very keen/interested then you might also want to consider that you are NOT her fantasy. That she might feel she can't live up to your expectations. That she might not WANT to live up to your expectations. That she has hopes and dreams that doesn't involve you. Because she IS a person, her own person.
Work on things you enjoy, that improves you, and your life (and those around you) You can't rely on a girl 3000 km away to make you less lonely. Work on your own social skills IN person. Maybe make some friends.
And your English was just fine, OP.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 April 2020):
 Will the distant love between teenagers last for the life ?
Oh sweetheart, I hate to say it but no, most,most probably it won't. It's already difficult to carry on a long distance relationship between two adults ( difficult, and foolish too if you do not have a feasible plan to be together in the same place within a reasonably short time ) . Imagine between two teenagers who are growing and changing every day, finding out who they really are and what / whom they really want, and it's a process that often brings two people in very different directions. I am not saying that there aren't at all any highschool sweethearts who then get married and proceed to live happily ever after , but it's a rare exception, not the rule.
Statistically, the chances are not very good.
But that's not necessarily a bad thing, you know ? I am not going to dismiss the intensity of your feelings, I am sure that you feel sincerely in love- and there's nothing wrong in wanting to be loved, cherished and appreciated. But I'd bet that this feeling is much more precisely about you wanting to receive love and end loneliness, - than a real deep appreciation for this specific girl which comes from knowing she is just the right person to be your partner. Because you don't know ! You never had the chance to interact in person, maybe she is the opposite of what you want and need in a girl. On line interaction is all different from interacting in real life, and you might very well be disappointed .So, it does not really make much sense to keep waiting , at your age, for years and years, for someone you basically know nothing about , for maybe finding out you are not compatible. Or, perhaps you are compatible right now, but in time you both will go through so many changes in wishes and needs and priorities and dreams- that eventually you won't be compatible anymore.
Much better stop chasing a fantasy , mostly born by your loneliness and your ( very normal ) desire for affection and companionship. Much better to see if you find someone you like and you are compatible with, here and now, in real life, where you live - and take it from there.
Don't get stuck on this particular girl, who anyway seems very lukewarm in responding to your love. She sounds much less into you that you are into her- but even if she were exactly as equally involved as you, - it's just not a situation which is likely to bring you anything good , healthy or happy.
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