A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I split with my ex 18 month ago I found out she was seeing someone else, I caused no trouble I walked away, we both work together etc as does the other guy but that hasn’t worked out.Since the split we have no really managed to find any common ground I have tried my very best for it to be normal as best as it can be, but she has continually played with my head, doing odd things, going through a period recently where she has tired very hard to get my attention… Particular as she thought I was seeing someone else.It was her birthday recently and I text her wishing her happy birthday. I didn’t expect a response. Anyway the first time I see her a week later she says hi but is more miserable than I have ever seen her at any point during this whole episode….Recently I have been given a promotion everyone knows, including her, but what they all think is it is within the same office, it is not I am leaving, I have asked it be kept quiet. She doesn’t know. I may not ever see her again. My question is this I need and exit strategy, I deeply care for this women. I can’t explain all the things she as done but not the actions of someone not interested.I am seeking advice and how to I get the most impact on her when I leave, to give my message across that I want you at all costs. I need to leave her knowing this or do???
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2009): i agree with quirklady. why are you still bothering with her. she devastated you, played and messed with your head. why would you even tolerate someone like this in your life. she started sleeping with her new bf while she was with you. or have you forgotten. seems as though you do not value yourself too much if you still want this hussy in your life. you know she doesn't care you you. you are not her doormat, please have pride. keep your dignity intact. you maybe dying nside but show her that you are better of than with her - the scheming, deceitful person that she is. and she will continue to be. she rubbed this new man in your face. i am sure she paraded around with him while you did your best to be decent and civil to her. why torment yourself agin?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2009): You could buy her a gift that is really special and personal to her and her interests or hobbies? That way she has a keepsake and also include a card with your contact details on 'in case'. Not sure you can be any more pushy than that? I also think it would be best coming from you that you are leaving - otherwise she will think she means the same as everyone else and could be hurt. I think you should be optimistic in some senses that by not being there she will hopefully miss you (as you say she has been hinting etc) and also you have a better chance at a relationship away from office gossip and politics. Perhaps let her know you will be organising a get together after a month and invite a number of people - that might be another excuse to see her. Failing that what do you have to lose by calling her, after you've left, and just asking her out for a drink? If she says no you don't have to face her.... if she says yes it would be worth the risk.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (5 August 2009):
 What for? She made her decision when she decided to see someone else. It's over and dead between you two. Go on and live your life and leave her to her misery.
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