A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My best friend of 7 years has recently told me he likes me and wants to go out with me however I don't see him as anything more than a friend and have told him this several times but he isn't taking it. recently he said to me that he wants to speak to me properly cause he hasn't stopped thinking about me since he's been on holiday. I don't see what there is to say, cause we have already discussed it but can you help me out with something to say how to politely say no and make sure he understands for the final time?
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male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (8 July 2012):
If you’ve told him several times that you do not feel the same, the fact that he refuses to accept that is his failure and not yours, so, if you’ve told him very clearly that you don’t feel the same and that this isn’t going to change, there’s nothing more you can do. Don’t indulge his requests to talk about it, emphasise to him that as far as you’re concerned there’s nothing more to say as you’ve told him how you feel, and that he isn’t going to be able to talk you in to feeling any differently. Sadly he seems not to realise that you can’t control how some-one feels, you can’t browbeat them in to submission and then enjoy a happy relationship, and that you can destroy a friendship altogether if you behave in this way. So don’t feel that you’re responsible for this situation, or that you’re failing to get your point across. He needs to let it go.
I wish you all the very best.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (8 July 2012):
 If he brings it up again, in your own words tell him he cannot bully you into being his girlfriend, that you have already told him you don't want anything more than friendship with him and if he persists you will ask your parents to intervene.
To be honest I think if he is not getting the message and you do need to be firm he will probably take it badly and you may need to pull back from the friendship anyway.
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