A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:How can I be more confident in myself when it comes to guys? I don't think I'm ugly or massively attractive, but I still think I'm okay.I have this problem when I see a guy I actually like or one I see in the street whose attractive and I can't look him in the eye. I have the maximum doubt that he'd ever go for me. Even when my friends tell me that the guy was actually showing interest and was staring at me and smiling or whatever I still believe he was actually looking at one of my friends or another girl. And in the event when I catch eyes with him and he's showing interest I just look down or away. So the guy never knows what I'm actually thinking.I can admit that I'm not great at expressing my emotions. At all. Even with family and friends, I've never been a (I love you" kind of girl. I'm good at showing that I love them, just not verbally saying it. The same goes for guys. I've been head over heels in love about 3 times in my life, along with a load of crushes, but they've never heard me say how I feel. I guess I always doubt that I'll ever find a guy that just wants me because there are so many prettier hotter kinder and smarter girls out there, so why would a guy go for me? I know that's the wrong mindset to have but I don't know how to change it.Also the guy I was most recently in love with was a friend of mine, so we were always hanging out as friends. I was soo good at masking my feelings around him I should've won a grammy. I know now that he had feelings for me to and I had completely mistaken his blatant flirting for just him being funny. When I realised this it was too little too late and he'd moved on. Just another lost opp...How can I stop being so insecure and just be me?
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female
reader, TheRealMorningStar  +, writes (22 May 2017):
 You have already taken the first step. Good for you! Now we can talk about your confidence... I had a friend, who would walk toes out, and she wanted to change her walk. I told her to practice her walk by following the lines in/on the concrete and it worked. But, it took time and so will you. You can start small by smiling more at classmates, teachers and yourself in the mirror. The mirror thing is good because you can smile according to your comfort level and the situations you've had that day. But, you have to practice, even during a bad day because those days count too. Others don't know what your going through and you don't want to be a scowler. The whole eye/confidence thing will come to you but you gotta start somewhere, small that is. If you still, after trying out your smile, and eyes, are having trouble... join a group that you like, read to kids at the library, anything to boost your confidence. Men, young men in your case, like a woman who? is willing to talk to them first. Try a hi, don't be too loud or quiet, and once that is done you may notice yourself looking at the guy, looking at you. I hope I helped, if not, just practice in your own way...it works.
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (7 May 2016):
 It is normal at your age to lack confidence around other people. You are still growing into your skin. Take small steps. Start by speaking to the person. It can just be a hello. You can't be rejected for a hello can you. Get a conversation going. Ask him for a small favour - even if you don't need it. It is surprising how eager he may be to help.
Good luck.
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