A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I think it's terrible how a minority of wicked people can forever tarnish something which could be used for the good. I met the love of my life (and I'm not using those words lightly) online in August 2010. It wasn't a dating site, just one for penpals, so we never began with the intention of getting together. The moment people hear how we found each other though, alarm bells start ringing. I don't blame them in the least - after all, I too have heard the high-profile horror stories of internet "romances" that end in tragedy. I know in my heart that I'll never become another statistic though. We met in real life back in December and again in January - and went away over weekends in March, June, August and October. I'm never happier than when we're together, and by all accounts he feels the same. Although we have no choice but to take short breaks for now, we're planning to be in the same place in future (I'm 19 and English, he's almost 22 and French, by the way). I trust him completely. But how can I ever prove that to the doubters? Does it even matter what other people think, as long as you know the truth? Oh, I don't know :( I'd be really grateful for another perspective or two x Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (20 November 2011):
 I met my boyfriend online, not on a dating site. We were friends for a year before we started to develop deep feelings for each other.
He came here in July and stayed with me for 3 months.
I honestly don't care if people don't like the fact that we met online. I have a wonderful relationship with him and its probably more solid than many couples in close-distance relationships.
I say not to worry about what other people think. You need to be confident in yourself and in your relationship and know that you have something special, that no one can take away.
A
male
reader, soon567  +, writes (20 November 2011):
They're right and wrong. Everyone that gave you advice are online and most of your family and friends are too. I have a friend now that I met online and we get along great. We're not dating but I know she likes me a lot. You already met and spent time with him, you should have an idea by now. What if you met this guy at a club, would you be comfortable talk to him now? Would you get his address? His phone number? Get family and friends to tag or follow you? What if you met a guy from down the street online. Could he be safer then someone out of state? Being from down the street, could that make him an outstanding citizen? There will always be danger in any situation, so always be careful and enjoy yourself.You can tell them thanks for there concerns, but this is your choice.
...............................
A
female
reader, mammaboo +, writes (19 November 2011):
 You know you always think it won,t happen to me. It always happens to people you read about.I hope your rite.Online dating and friendship sites can be fun,and i don,t doubt you know your own mind,but listening to your friends and families, having their concerns is very important. They are tying to guide you, not tell you what to do!!You will learn by your own mistakes. Just be careful and keep warnings in mind!!
...............................
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (19 November 2011):
 I know how you feel, the world is a dangerous place and it isn't fair to pre-judge everyone based on the actions of a few. In my day there was no computer connection..we had what they called pen pals and while I had a pretty flirtatious affair going on with someone I actually kew was OK(ex girlfriend of a guy I knew) my folks still thought it was dangerous because they'd heard about preditors out there pretending to be someone other than themselves. It's going to haunt every generation no matter what the reality is. It is however much better to be safe than wake up in a hospital wondering why people are strange.
...............................
A
female
reader, Sally_A  +, writes (19 November 2011):
i went through the same thing...please read this till the end.i went through the same thing...the only difference between you and I is, that my relationship ended, it was an amazing, beautiful love story, well at least that's how it was TO ME !we stayed together for 2 years in a long distance relationship (i'm gay, from lebanon, and my gf lives in the phills) y am i telling you my story ?because she ended up hurting me deeply, she left me without telling me what is the reason why she left( knowing that she told me that she loves me deeply and she can't imagine her life without me... and all that sweet talk...)i thought i was so smart and i thought that i could never fall in love with the WRONG person, actually i am a smart person, i have a high profile in my place, i have a super high gpa in my college, i am always nb 1 on my college's honor list and blah blah blah... and all that, so, even smart people do stupid things when it comes to love...i thought she loved me and that what we had was true...after she left me, i offered to give her money , to help her get out of her parent's house bcz they blocked her credit card and were pushing her to get married,(how stupid is that?)and guess what :) she took my money and never gave it back, and after that, i never heard from her ( oh btw she was 25 years old, and i was 20 back than)long distance relationships can be so great, so magical, just like a fairy tail, but it's only bcz they take too much from you, which makes you fall deeper and deeper for someone that you feel that life is against you two being together (life = ur friends and odds)if you love him truly ( the way i loved her... and i still love her after 2 years apart) than try your best not to lose the one you lovebut please, please, be careful, don't give ALL what you have to offer before you get to know him really good, like really really good...... because IF ever something bad happens, and you didn't end up together, you won't be TOO HURT.live your life the way YOU want to live it, not the way PEOPLE want you to live itdo what you believe will make you HAPPYjust be careful and take some precautionsi hope my answer helped you. tc
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 November 2011):
 I agree your friends and family should meet him... that will help.and when you go to meet him they needhis namehis date of birthhis addresshis phone numberwhere you are goinghow you are getting therewhere you are stayingand when you are returning.if it is for more than a weekend, you should call and check in with someone at home.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (19 November 2011):
 Your friends are right. While online dating can be a great way to meet people, it's the ideal place for sexual predators to lurk. "I know in my heart that I'll never become another statistic though."You cannot POSSIBLY know this. I know a lot of people have to imagine that women who are attacked must have done something to put themselves in danger, must have known they were going to be attacked. But they don't and they didn't do something "stupid." Almost everyone does this when they hear horrible things, it's a way of compartmentalizing so we don't live our lives constantly in fear. But that doesn't change reality in any way.When you're doing something risky like meeting someone from online, you NEED to be thinking about the possibility that who you meet is not who you think it is. Meeting them in public places, making sure someone knows where you are at all times, and setting a check in time that if you don't contact them by a certain time, they should get help.The only way to get your friends to relax in this situation (since you've been together awhile) is to have them meet him.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2011): Lots of people meet through the internet, mostly it is fine and OK. But it is wise to be wary. People have been tricked and conned, had hearts broken and worst. But you have been lucky and I would not bother yourself with doubters in your case. There are always risks in life. People will always worry.
...............................
|
