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I know the break up of my Bf's parents is not about me. But how is this going to affect the relationship with my Bf? He is moving away too and I don't want to lose him.

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Family, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 October 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 7 October 2012)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

so my boyfriend's parents are getting and divorce.

From the bottom of my heart i feel so bad for him like i wish there was something i could do.

he found out that his dad was cheating on his mom by overhearing a conversation on the phone. he had to tell his own mom that his dad was being unfaithful after 23 years of marriage.

my boyfriend has cried his eyes out to me before but that was over me when he cried in my arms this time i couldn't help but cry my eyes out too i wish i knew the right thing to say, but all i can do is listen.

also my boyfriends family owns a Restaurant but they are selling it and their house and moving about an hour away from me.

i know that this isn't about me and all i want to be is there for him but i cant help and think what's going to happen to us?

He has much more to worry about then about that i cant tell any of my friends any of this.

So i feel like i have no one to talk to about how this all affecting me.

the last thing i want to see is my boyfriend of almost two years move an hour a way.

i just feel like im going to lose him and dont want to and i know he doesn't either. i just need to know if it would selfish of me to talk about how all this is effecting me too i need to ask him if hes thought about whats going to happened to our relationship

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2012):

Divorce is hard, not just on the parents but on the children.

This is his entire life we're talking about, his parents married for 23 years are getting divorced, he's cried his eyes out to you and we all know how hard it is for guys to really show their emotions...

His world is changing, he has to care for his mother that's probably emotionally vulnerable right now, then he has to accept the fact that his father's not the man he thought he was...

They are leaving their lives behind...

Need I go on...

The last thing on his mind right would be about a teenage relationship!

And you want to PILE UP and worry about how YOU are feeling about all this? Sometimes sharing our feelings is very selfish and insensitive!

If you don't want to lose him, let him know that no distance between you will change your feelings for him...though, I doubt that, you'll probably be into another guys in a couple of months...

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (7 October 2012):

CindyCares agony auntDraling, pardon me, but... all this drama over one hour of distance ?...

Come on. When I was in New York ( 8 millions inhabitants ) I was a 50 min. train ride away from my partner , and it was still the same city . If you were in L.A. ( 11 millions , or more , I guess ) ... at 1 hour distance... maybe you'd still be in the same zip code.

Ditto for millions of people all over the world, and somehow they all manage to meet, mate, date, and so on.

Also , tons of people live in the same town, in the same neighborhood , even, but what with full time jobs and other committments and responsibilities , they only see their partner at weekends, or even less than that.. It's quality of time that counts, not quantity . Within limits of course. You can't really "date" someone whom you meet up with once a year, and that's why in general I am againsts LDRs .

But one hour is not really LDR. !

If you and your bf should drift apart, it won't be because of the distance, but just because often, at your age, things and feelings and needs change and people take different paths. But, you'll cross that bridge when and IF you'll reach there.

Here they say that distance is like wind : it will put out small fires, but will increase the big ones... So, good luck and don't worry too much.

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A male reader, Lies Australia +, writes (7 October 2012):

Firstly this is one bad situation to deal with.

It is and will affect him emotionally, and physically too. But knowing this will be extremely hard on you as there is no other choice but go on a long term relationship.

There are three possible solutions.

1. You tell him that you cannot handle this situation, and that it will hurt both of you. The truth is that you both will find someone better, believe it or not and will move on. (break up)

2. Go on a daily skype/other way of communication so that you two can comfort each other. When any of you have the time, make sure you travel to him or her for a visit. (stay together)

3. The very last is I think one of the most impossible decisions he will EVER have to make. And that is to move in with you.

Of course parental confirmation has to be done first but it will be the best. He needs time to think about who to stay with (parents) in the future, he will not have to be forced to make new friends in his new school and most importantly you will have each other.

If his parents decide to get back together (miracle)then that would be THE best outcome there is.

I hope for the best for you both,

Lies.

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