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I just don't think he cares about me at all!

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 September 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 21 September 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Please help me with this because i feel so lost and hurt and the worst thing is i cant even talk to this guy about it. Thing is hes one of my best friends yet i really think he doesnt give a toss about me whats so ever! I may be taking this abit far but its gone on for a while and becoming so noticeable. Thing is he only speak to me on msn if i talk to him first, yea he will reply n talk back but i have to start the convo n make the effort to continue it, its like he says what hes got to and thats it the only other thing he ever says is "lol" He makes no effort whats so ever to tell me about stuff hes been doing. Also if i suggest me him and some friends meet up hes up for it however he wont meet up with me alone and i can see why because im really shy and never know what to say to him, also theres no point going out at the weekend for a drink if theres only two of you. Also like he'll comment people stuff on websites etc but wont mine! its like he physically cant.

Thing is one time we can go out and hes being really friendly with me, play fighting with me even and flirting with me and then the next time...nothing! We never spoke during class but thats because trouble was caused by a girl that liked him an didnt like me and him being friends,(also me and other people thre used to think he liked me because he really did show it and still does sometimes, its weird but he really did all the signs were there!) We've spoke before whenstuffs happened and things have got awkward between us(people spreading lies about me and him) and he says im a good friend to him. (btw thats all over) he says im a good friend yet he makes no effort to talk to me! I dont udnerstand one minute hes being all flirty and playful anf friendly and the next nothing. But its little tings like when he meet sus he'll say hi to everyone else but he just stares at me or looks at me, sometimes in the past hes seemed abit awkward with me like he hadnt got the confidence or was hesitant but tbh....hes not a nervous guy he knows me well enouhg. Hes told me loads of times im a good friend to him and hes told me before he loves me as a mate so why cant we talk to each othr and why is he alwyas this diffrent with me. I cant talk to hi about it but i need to try and make this better another way. I feel so lost without him i truely hate that this has happened. This is why i think he hates me but surely he wouldnt act this way if he hated me would he? hes a lovely guy so please dont mis judge him

View related questions: best friend, confidence, flirt, msn, shy

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009):

when i was your age i felt almost exactly the same about a guy and he was acting the same.. boys at this age think there a bit too cool and don't really have the time for anyone else unless it suits them.. he probably has his own stuff going on and doesn't realise how hes making you feel.. does he drink a lot or take drugs?? coz sometimes this is how people get when theyre starting to become a bit clouded.

try and say something to him even though this may not make him change a whole lot if you just tell him that you feel its a little of a one sided friendship.. just be like "i feel like a bit of an idiot coz i feel like i make all the effort and your pretty disinterested yet you say im a good friend of yours...???"

anyway your probably just confusing your feelings and you think your into him when really its just that you get along as mates and you find him attractive so you think he'd make a good boyfriend also as hes not showing too much interest it makes him more appealing "playing hard to get". but you know what don't even worry just enjoy having him as a mate.. getting into a relationship shouldnt require so much stress and confusion.. you cant force him to like you in that way and all guys are flirty.. you're probably thinking if he could only realise what im really like and how good we'd be together but trust me he wont, not anytime soon anyway.. i bet in a few yrs you'll be laughing at the fact you were stressing so much about this one boy... thats how i feel now when i look at the guy i was hung up on.. plenty more fish in the sea.. goodluck sweetie

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009):

alright soo, it seems like this guy just wants to have fun. you say he is a great friend to you so why dont you keep it that way. dont try to make something out of nothing, like for example if he doesnt comment your photos, it probably means he is only interested in you as a good friend. He may flirt towards you and say you would be a great mate, but he may just be a nice guy. Sometimes guys give off the wrong signals because they are just a flirty type. My advice for you if you want to stay friends, forget the romantic part in it. You are only 16 or 17, still in highschool, so trustt me, you will find a guy that is right for you. Just dont look so hard. Hope i helped a bit. good luck!

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