A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating this guy, 38, for the past 18 months now; I'm 24 and live in Los Angeles.Only recently I've found out he was married. I didn't know, not one bit, that he was married.He's a Trump supporter, I'm not but we somehow made it work. Do you think this is odd given how Trump is supposedly anti-LGBT?. Sure, there are some things Trump has done well, but I don't agree with everything he's done.I've only just found out via WhatsApp that the place we went to was his bachelor pad in South Central LA (he owns six properties!!) and that his real home is in the West Side of Los Angeles. (He'd messaged me on Tnursday, and told me the bachelor pad was a house they'd bought in 2011, but never used much). I actually thought the bachelor pad in South Central was where he lived!!I live in LA, but not close to where he lives.I feel embarrassed, angry and upset but he insists "I want to be with you, even though I've got kids".I've told him no three weeks ago, it's over but he insists we're still a couple and I found out three days ago that he'd leaked private photos of us in our underwear (couples' selfie) online; it appeared on a Trump supporters fansite with hundreds of positive comments and promises of more couples' photos of him and me to come. I complained, but it's still there.Since then, I've had packages delivered to me (of food and drink and candy, with an apology note) and alcohol from a guy who claims he'd talked to me on a popular gay dating site. But I don't have a membership there, I'm wondering if this guy is impersonating me.I don't think the cops would do much about it, given how they've ignored a piracy ring in our area that was offering pirated Mac software, especially as it's a form of identity theft on the dating site.He claimed to me via WhatsApp "But I'm in an unhappy marriage, even for a millionaire Trump supporter like me. YOU'RE THE MAN FOR IT".I feel so foolish, so low, and embarrassed. I had no way of knowing he was married; he'd never mentioned a wife or kids and had no wedding ring and he was in a popular LA gay bar 18 months ago when we met!I'm not a "twink" type, given that I'm fairly bearded/stubbly and muscular. This guy's 38, a businessman and a prominent member of the Indian community here in LA (Indian as in India, not Native American!!)I feel embarrassed and angry; my sister Allison (not her real name) feels like confronting the guy, but she's always been fairly balls-y.My friend Steve is stuck in NYC at the moment due to lockdown, and I've not got many people to talk to about this situation (I wasn't involved in many LGBTQ groups, being involved in modding cars for a living and doing food deliveries at night as an occasional side hustle) especially as LGBT affairs with married men isn't a situation many people can identify with.I don't really have many people to talk to about this, aside from Allison and am too embarrassed for now to get help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2020): Who are you kidding?This guy is not acting as if you are in a couple - he is in a couple already, with his wife. He is acting as if you are some slut, a piece of meat, he comes to for his jollies now and then.You show off about him having six houses. What use is this to you if he treats you like dirt, lies to you, uses you and goes back to his wife? Be proud when you yourself have earned enough money to buy a collection of houses - cash - and own them outright through your own efforts.How do you know he has six houses anyway when he is a liar, he lies to his wife and you, it could all be lies.Some men who want to get into a girl's knickers make up lies about being rich. If the girl is naive and greedy it works. They forget that if he is keeping his property and money it is just talk. If you are after a man's money then sell sex at so much an hour, don't give it away for free on the promise of something that you might get in ten years' time. How dumb is that? Would you go and work in an office for free because the owner of the business, who refuses to pay you wages, tells you he is rich?This guy has treated you like a whore. letting some man you barely know take crude photos of you is very stupid, as well as sleazy. How can he respect someone who does that? But you forget that if he really was married and important he would not have photos of himself anywhere anyway, he would have too much to lose.You have nothing to lose but your blushes and your time, you are small fry compared to him, according to what you say.He did not treat you like a girlfriend let alone the other half of a couple.A real couple spend lots of time together and tell each other the truth, they know each other's friends and family.This seems to be your dream. That if you play hard to get he will become your other half and you will bag yourself a rich dude.Dream on. You are not grown up or smart enough for this guy, he runs rings around you with his lies.He has no intention of having an actual relationship with anyone other than his wife, who he is with for appearances and money.As to how one of you is into Trump and one isn't who cares? You sound like a giggly bimbo, the sort who dances around her handbag half drunk. Grow up.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (29 September 2020):
 Of course this is totally fake . And sloppy fake, too. Written by someone who has never set foot in L.A.
It's Westside- one word- not West Side as in " West Side Story ".
And a bachelor pad .....in South Central ? You are having me in stitches ,OP. A bachelor pad, owned by an Indian millionaire... where exactly ? Watts ? Crenshaw ? LOL !
Oh btw. It's not called South Central anymore since 2003, just South L.A. The TV series reruns you are watching, OP, are too old.
As a matter of fact, I don't mind answering " fake " posts- I guess most posts contain some elements of un-truth to protect the posters's privacy , or their feelings, or their image. Which is absolutely fine !, DC is not a court of justice , and anyway, everybody of us can always only give OUR personal vision and version of what happened , which in most cases is just a partial truth.
I would love ,though, if the people who take so much pain to invent convoluted dilemmas would stretch their efforts a bit to make their stories believable : 1) by checking their details- which you don't have to add , of course- but if you do , make them accurate 2 ) by inventing a dilemma which could at least baffle or worry an average person with an average intelligence. Something that requires a course of action which is not totally self evident, which requires some ingenuity.... which is obviously not the case with this post.
Your average 24 y.o. man would know , at least !, how to block this man from any media to fend off his unwanted advances ; and would know that he can, in fact must, go to the police, because circulating your image without your permission IS a crime that the law punishes.
Or else... a 24 y.o. who hasn't at least figured out that...is a 24 y.o. who could not find his way out of a paper bag, and as such, ... he should stay well away from gay bars until he has mustered a bit more self confidence and common sense !
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2020): Why are you coming across like you're powerless and can't just tell the guy get lost?
All I see is a half-hearted/lame-attempt at backing-away; but not really...just maybe a little bit...but leaving him room to keep hanging around.
If any of this is authentic, you seem to enjoy the attention he's giving you; and his persistence to pursue you. The Trump stuff is just weird! I don't understand what that Trump site business is all about, but I'm somewhat skeptical! I sense a little fiction or embellishment going on for the sake of drama; and this comes across like an episode plagiarized from a gay-series I've seen on Netflix. Maybe a combination of several stories.
If he has a wife and kids; or possesses any reputable stature in a legitimate business; I find it extremely difficult to believe he would be so reckless and impetuous as to flaunt pics or video of his gay escapades! Stuff that could potentially destroy him, his business, and his marriage. Even in LA! A good LA divorce lawyer could use them as evidence to clean him out financially; and his wife would never let him see his kids again! It would humiliate her, and I don't know what clients or patrons would want to do business with someone his age that would post underwear pics online for all the world to see them!
If any of this is even true, it seems you're the one who has the upper-hand. You could file a complaint with the police with the pics on the website as proof and evidence that they are being displayed online without your consent. All you have to do is have him remove those pics or threaten a libel suit! It could also be used as leverage to make him go-away!
I really don't believe any of this, it just seems made up to me.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (28 September 2020):
 I really don't understand why you are making this so hard for yourself. And I certainly don't understand what anything in your post has to do with Trump, but that's by the by.
One sentence sums up my advice to you: you are not telling him clearly enough that you do not want a relationship with him.
Why are you accepting presents? If they are delivered to your door, turn them away. Advise they are unwanted and ask the delivery driver to return them to the sender.
As for contact, block this guy EVERYWHERE so that he cannot get hold of you. If he keeps contacting you, threaten to tell his wife (but don't do it, obviously, as it's not her fault her husband is a douchebag).
If you keep away from him, he will eventually get the message and back off. Ignore and block. Ignore and block. Ignore and block. He will eventually get fed up and move on.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (28 September 2020):
I think this is totally fake, but I'll bite.
Firstly, I don't know what politics has to do with this. It's totally irrelevant. So is LGBTQ and where he lives.
1. he posted pictures without your consent. So if you KNOW the website it was published on, contact them and demand them taken down.
2. you BLOCK him on all avenues of contact. If he shows up where you live don't open the door, call the police.
3. If he shows up where you work, ASK him to leave or you will call security OR the police.
4. If he sends you "gifts" REFURE to accept them.
He can't MAKE you BE a couple, if you don't want to.
You are 24. Be smart.
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