A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:When i got pregnant at 17 i moved in with the the babys dad. We ended up getting married when i was 18. And i had our baby. He was abusive and called me fat, a slut, a whore, and other hurtful names but he claimed that he was always playing around. He cheated on me and no matter how much evidence i had on him he denied it. I ended up moving out when he left for the weekend to go get drunk with his friends and float the river. We were split up for about a week and i ended up sleeping with a guy. Then me and my husband got back together. A couple months later i found out that i was pregnant. He doesnt know about me sleeping with the another guy. And i was hoping it was going to be my husbands, but when the baby was born he looked just like the guy i had slept with.Me and my husband are now going through a divorce. I talked to the father of my new baby and he agreed to give me money. But he has a fiance that is pregnant now. I dont want there marriage to go wrong and he doesnt either. So we both agreed not to tell anyone that he was the father to my 2nd child. And when he got a chance he'd slip me some money to help out. Right now it seems like it'll be fine, but i dont know what i'm going to do when my kid gets older and what to tell him about his dad. The father probably won't want to see him much or want him to know that he is the father to him. Cause then his Fiance will know about him.
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cheated on me, divorce, drunk, fiance, got back together, money, moved in, one night stand, split up Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (7 May 2008):
 Anon, you're kidding right? If the man's name is on the birth certificate, he pays child support until proven otherwise in a court of law.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2008): AskolderSister has just recommended you possibly do something that I think should carry a jail sentence.
If you know there's uncertainty about the parentage of the child and your husband does not, then you have no right to let him unknowingly go on thinking that this child is his (and paying for it).
I know we're supposed to be focused on what is best for the child, and I agree with that mindset within reason. But that does not carry over to sticking an innocent man with the responsibility for a child that he did not father.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (6 May 2008):
That's very nice of you to consider your ex's new fiance and their upcoming marriage. However, child support BELONGS to your child and he needs to pay that on a monthly basis and his "little mistake" he wants to pretend "never happened", your child, is more important than his smokescreen, okay? If your ex-husband, not the child's father, is already paying child support and his name is on the birth certificate, then he's DADDY, and you need to leave this other guy alone.
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