A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I really want my girlfriend to tell me about her past sexual experiences during sex. After hearing a little bit about her previous relationships, I want to hear more. It's not that I want her to sleep with another man, just that I want her to use her sexual past to turn us both on during sex. Is that weird? How can I get her to do it?
View related questions:
her past, sexual past Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, GoodDog +, writes (25 September 2011):
 I agree with the replies below - you might think you want to hear about your girlfriends sexual history during your love making, but the reality of it might be another thing. Why don't you just ask her if she would invent something for you - a sexual fantasy with a stranger, famous actor / singer, etc...anything but the truth. Sometimes the deeper we dig the less we are to like what we find...
A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (25 September 2011):
 The last sentence in chickpea's response sums up why I find your question troublesome. This is NOT all about YOU and what gives YOU pleasure.
There isn't much difference between one who is jealous of another's past and one who is turned on by it. The former uses it to torment themselves and the latter uses it to pleasure themselves. BOTH are using it to further their own agenda with little or no regard for the person that past actually belongs to.
A glaring ommission from your post is any mention of how this might affect HER. Your girlfriend's history is, presumably, not a series of regretable one night stands (and if it is, even less reason to ask her to relive it). They were special moments shared with people she cared for at that time. She might not appreciate having them reduced to porn fodder.
I suggest you tread very carefully.
...............................
A
female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (25 September 2011):
 Hi,
Friend, I will tell, this is so weird????...
I am sure that if she doesn't completely open up to you, or if she doesn't tell you more details is probably that she cares about you, don't want to hurt you, and also she's probably embarrassed. If she had lots if sex experiences with her exe's she won't tell you, because she loves you, and she doesn't want you to think she's easy, etc...
This question is funny, with all the respect. I am glad that you are an open guy. I wish I feel the same way you do, but majority of society, male/female are very jealous, and insecure. Personally, I would hate to know my partners past experiences, would hurt me & make me crazy.
Just be honest, tell her that you actually enjoy talking about her past experiences, some sick way turn you on, and tell her that you would like to experience together. Explain that you respect her, is not about judging her, it's about you, that you enjoy, give you pleasure.
Good luck
...............................
A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (25 September 2011):
 i agree with person12345 ,the information she give,s you in detail may not bother you now but it may come home and haunt you later on down the road. you may start seeing the other guy,s with her in living color in your mind. the closer your relationship get,s the more you are going to care about her. the more you care about her there is a chance you may hate the idea of someone else touching her in that way! i am speaking from experience , i have been married over 25 year,s and it still bother,s me about my wife,s past. plus she may not want to talk about it. she may have regret,s about her past, she may want to try and forget about some or all of her past sexual act,s. you need to take in her feeling,s on the subject as well.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (25 September 2011):
 Just be SURE you want to go down that road first. You can't unlearn information. If she starts telling you these details, they will be stuck there. And if you happen to be bothered by something, that image will fester in your mind forever. So be REALLY sure you want to know.
But if you're truly sure, and hearing about it truly turns you on rather than the fantasy you create in your head of it (because they're going to feel very different) then you just need to ask and tell her why. You need to accept too that she may not want to tell you because she probably wants to be in the moment with you, not fantasizing about past partners.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2011): It's not weird. Just make certain you actually WANT the details before asking for them. People of both sexes post on here pretty frequently about knowing their partner's past and wishing they didn't. Good luck :)
...............................
|
