A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with that girl for over a year now, but I feel like she has a little problems with the word commitment. She has two kids for two different fathers, and the second one when she had it, she was not even divorced. I have found out she has cheated with her ex while she was married to the father of her first child, how could I trust that woman? I love her but I need some guidance Should I run up the hill or should I stay?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2012): You have been seeing her for a year but you are only questioning it now?...have you found something out recently? or have you had doubts all along? I think you already know the answer to you own question.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (19 January 2012):
The hills are a better bet on this one.
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A
female
reader, Siera  +, writes (19 January 2012):
Dear guy..the question springs to mind as to why you are in a relationship with a lady you can`t trust?She is not going to "change" you know. She won`t suddenly twirl around like Superwoman in her shiny panties and start being a different person. Think for a moment what the future would be like with someone like that. It would only be a matter of time before you joined the line of the betrayed.Trust is the very cornerstone of a relationship,without it you really have..nothing. You are more than likely mistaking lust or habit for love. Real love is about trust and respect,sometimes even putting the other persons needs ahead of your own.A good relationship is one where you feel stable and fulfilled. Yours I`m afraid looks like it can only go downhill. If you have doubts now,think how much worse that would be if you married at a later time. Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2012): you should run for the hills. There is the old saying that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2012): I say run up the hill as fast as you can, I can not stand a cheater, if you stay, you might be in doubt, how in the world can anyone give their heart to a cheater to be tramped on? If you're always thinking in the back of your mind that she's cheating then I would run up the hill for sure.
When one bus pulls off another one pulls up and their plenty more fish in the sea.
good luck
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (19 January 2012):
 Hi,
Sorry to say, but I think your girlfriend doesn't care much about loyalty. Yes, some people might change, but if you have the gut to cheat once, what can assure you that it won't happen again. I think it has more to do with the persons character.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (19 January 2012):
 Yeah, her record of cheating is a very valid concern. Add that to her commitment issues with you, and that does cause things to become uneasy.
When did she cheat on her ex-husband? If it was less than 5 years ago, I'd agree with Code Warrior about putting the brakes on the relationship.
However, if it's distant history, I'd take into account how much since then she's matured, if she has. Even financially, there's a 7-10 year window when it comes to calculating a credit rating. If she's shown 5-10 years of mature living and a departure from her unfaithful past, I'd say stick with it for now. However, if you've been dating her for a year, and it was 1-2 years ago that she cheated, then that's another thing entirely.
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