A
male
age
30-35,
*elplessRomantic
writes:This may sound weird because I am talking about someone I have never dated. There is this girl I was in love with as a child. We were just class friends but in my heart she was more than that. We studied in the same class for 3 years which was enough time to fall in love with her. Actually I could not stop looking at her the first day she moved to my class. I pretended I hated her. Which was very stupid. But that's what guys do. Or a kid does. But things happened. I had to move halfway across the world. I didn't forget her. First few months. I used to be depressed at the fact that I lost any chance of being with her. Then a long time passed when I never spent time thinking about her. But the feelings came back 5 years later. I messed up my final year exams because I didn't study because I was thinking about her all the time. Then today I saw her on Facebook. I sent her a MSG saying is that really you? And another saying I was so glad to see a childhood friend on facebook. And asked if she remembers me. She hasn't sent any reply. Especially cuz she would be asleep now and I sent the MSG 1 hr ago. But I am really happy to see her again. Really happy. For the past 4/5 months I thought I got over the fantasy I have of her but now I am back to square one. A loner who is in love with a girl who doesn't probably love him and probably has a boyfriend. I have all those feelings again! I love her. I am thinking of telling her in a while. Not now but in few months. That is if she sends me a reply.Thank you. This may have sounded like a joke as it is very weird but please help me. I am sincere. I need help.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2011): thank you all very much. I have talked to her and I have decided not to tell her that I had a thing for her. I will not agree with anyone saying I did not have something for her. It was a crush, at first, but I developed in 3 years we were friends. She was the reason I used to go to school. I was just a kid but she was the thing I used to look forward to when I was going to school. She isnt the same and I am not the same. People change and the sad thing is that nothing matters. People change and move on. Millions of people have done that and I was stupid to think anything could happen between me and her. I did have something for her. But I will not tell her that as she is a different person now and I am a different person. Thank you for your help and I will stop living in my world.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (20 October 2011):
 you do need to find a therapist and work this through... and maybe a bit of anti-depressant will help you cope better.
you don't have to tell your friends if you don't want to you just say "I had something to do" if they keep on you just refuse to discuss it or say something outrageous like "I had to whack off in the girls locker room" it will teach them to mind their own business.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (20 October 2011):
 First of I think you are confusing a crush with love. You HAD a crush on her and now.. you are living in fantasy land..
If she DOES reply take it slow, see where it goes.
I know how old pictures can trigger lovely memories of the good times i nthe past, but this is reality so stay real.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2011): Now, did I mention I was studying in the same class with her for 3 years? When I said we weren't much. I meant that we didn't date. We were friends. You are right I don't know this girl. I am not in love with this girl. I was however in love with her when she was a little girl. I knew loads of thing about her. I am not just saying this. I loved her. Even though I didn't know as much about her as I should to fall in love I still did love her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2011): I know that I am much older than all of you, but I for one have lots of sympathy for you. I found an old friend from school on facebook and even though we were really good friends in school, we could never get together, I thought he didn't like me enough and he thought the same thing. We I have fallen for him big time but he is married. And this is driving me crazy too. I wish I had some advice but I don't. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Because everyone that I have told about this tell me all the things I know to be true but really don't want to hear right this moment. Good luck and like I said, just know you are not alone.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2011): But I did mess up my final year because I was too busy thinking about her. I was depressed for six months. Six final months of my high school. I was an A student. I was top 3 in the class for the past 4 years but in my 5th year I messed up. I really messed up. I was told by my bro that she is dating my best friend and I was depressed for a month or two. I then had the guts to call my friend. He said no. He said " No, I would never do that kind of thing to u. Bro, I know how much u loved her so I would not do that to you. " He said " why are u suspecious about me? Don't you trust me? " Loads of other things happened that I would not discuss here. I will go to my college therapist and ask for help if this continues. But I really dont wanna go cuz I am embarrased and my friends will know I am gone to the therapist cuz I spend my 100% day with them. Going to the therapist is for some reason considered uncool and stuff. If I didnt love her why did I feel so bad when I heard she was dating my friend. Why was I so excited that I found her... finally? Please tell me how to get out of this? I dont want those feelings. I hate feeling like crap. I hate the depression I go through. Btw I am the guy who asked the question and I rated the answer 5 stars. Thank u for answering. I appreciate it. Its not her fault I did bad (I was an A student who came out with a C) but it is my fault that I was dwelling on her and she was the only thing that was in my head. I will not tell her I love her. I will make myself believe that I never loved her. I will pretend that those feelings were never there. This is too much OBSESSION! I will forget that I ever thought I loved her. Thanks again.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2011): What do you even know about this girl? You werent even friends before, so how could you have "loved her"? You just had a crush. Love is a lot deeper than what you feel for someone you barely know. You say you love this girl who you barely even knew before and who now might be someone totally different? You need to get your head together.
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