A
female
age
30-35,
*licia89
writes:Recently i have been feeling ugly. Im 22 years old and married. First i would like to start off by saying that im over weight, i have thick facial hair which i shave, black arm pits and elbows, knees and between my thighs, im very insecure of my self. one day i forgot to shave my chin area and i was kissing my husband and he touched my face and i moved his hand immediately and he asked why i did that and i just kissed him again so he would forget. im trying to lose weight but its really hard for me. i just feel Ugly. i cry at nights and just dont now what to do. i sometimes think to myself why me? any advice is very appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2012): I think you have to have a type of love for yourself first ..Work towards loosing the Weight , you must exrecise and change your diet , its really just complete displine . Id do the Weight first then work towards the hair removal issue ..
But you need to have faith and belief in yourself first .
GOOD LUCK .
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2012): All the talk about having a husband is not going to change your opinion about yourself.
I was in your shoes 10 years ago, but I wasn't that young. I was overweight, I wore contacts that made my eyes look unnaturally bulgy, I started getting horrible bags under my eyes. Plus, my front teeth started to change color from all the lemon that I like so much, and I was afraid to smile.
I hated the way I look so much that stoped going out at all, only work/ home.
And then my grown up daughter told me to do something about it. She started with words, what would you do to change your appearance. And I made a list, I want to get rid of contacts, I don't want those terrible bags under my eyes, I need to do something about my teeth.
And I definitely need to loose those 70 lb that crippled on me over the years.
We actually sat down as a family and budgeted my makeover. I decided to take a personal trainer, nutritionist, have a plastic surgery to remove my bags, and have porcelain veneers on my front teeth.
It all came down to $11K. And then Its all started. First is did the under eye surgery, which took 5 years of my face, it was amazing.
Month later I did lasik. I couldn't believe what a difference it made on my appearance.
Next was teeth. After I came from dentist, and my husband looked at me, he couldn't talk. And then he said, why we didn't do all this earlier.
Ina mean time I was working out, eating right, that was a hard one. Weight would come down very slow. It took me almost a year to go back to my healthy size 6.
I remember a year later after my nutritionist told me she is done with me, and now I just need to maintain my new beatifull body, my husband took me out to a restaurant, and we met there someone that we didn't see for a while. He said hello to mu husband, cautiously and appreciatively looked at me, and kept on talking to my husband. He acted like he didn't know me from before. Then I said something calling him by his name. He looked at me once, then again, and then exclaimed, o my god, this you, I couldn't recognize you, I thought your husband is here with another woman!!! Then he complimented me forever, and I could see he couldn't keep his eyes of me.
Why I m telling you my story, first of course it brings memories back:) but also to tell you that everything possible. You have a power to change the way you look. First of course weight issue, tibias in your power. It's not going to be terribly easy, but it's very realistic to get in shape and looking our best. Second your hair issue.
Have you thought about laser treatments. I know it can be very expensive , but nowadays they have all these specials online that they'd unlimited for a very low price. I did my legs, underarms and bikini area few years back for a very reasonable price. They said first 6 sessions, but then I needed 10-12. Now all this time later, nothing growth back. I think that will be the best option for you.
Shaving is ok, with waxing you need to let it grow before you wax again, and if it's on your face, it's not going to be very pleasant . Ask around about laser in your area. I wish you the best, just remember everything is in your hands, it's very much doable:)
We never had
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2012): First, check if there is a hormonal problem. If there isn't, the best thing is laser hair removal and the best part is you can still shave in between sessions. Go for IPL laser though as it is the best kind (6-12 treatments and you'll be done!). Lose some weight to help boost your self-confidence. And of course your husband will love you regardless of what happens to your weight/hair etc. Take control over these things and whatever you do, don't feel sorry for yourself- be CONFIDENT AND PROACTIVE! :)
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 November 2012):
 if you are overweight with thick facial hair, have you had a hormonal workup?
You may have PCOS and that should be treated.
NEVER shave your face dear.... let it grow in then use wax....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2012): We all sometimes feel like this but just don't say.
Many women spend hours of time and money and anxiety removing hair and half the time men don't notice It in the first place! Talk to your husband and tell him how your struggling with the diet, he sounds like a good man and he is with you, so that must tell you how lovable you are.
When your shaving, waxing, plucking whatever, just think your not alone, and good luck with the diet, and as you loose the weight give your self little rewards, beauty treatments, clothes, anything that makes you feel good x
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A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (4 November 2012):
 Hi
You have a husband, he married you,he loves you.
If you want to start feeling good about yourself then ask yourself why you feel this way and when it started.You must have dated your husband,got engaged and married him, so you can't have felt insecure then.What trigured the insecurity?
If your trying to lose weight thats great,it takes time and perseverance,exercise and diet,but eventually you will do it if your determined.As for shaving,why not wax instead it lasts longer and has a smoother finish.
Maybe a chat to your doctor would help to see if you have a bit of depression.
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A
female
reader, xAx +, writes (4 November 2012):
 I know its hard to lose weight as I'm doing it myself but don't give up. it takes time and persistence. I play badminton weekly for 2 hours and do 200 push ups every day and slowly but surely it's doing something. I suggest going to the gym with friends or swimming and doing lanes. doing exercise with friends is much more fun and motivational. please don't give up.
also, watch how much you eat. no more than 200 calories a day is the recommend amount for a woman.
my parents at the moment are doing a diet which is working for them and may work for you. they eat 500 calories on 2 days and eat whatever they want the other days. it sounds hard but they got used to it which you could do if you pushed yourself. the body needs rest from digesting food and doing that diet helps the body.
the problem with the body hairs, I suggest going to a salon weekly. it will get rid of the problem and its soothing and relaxing too.
good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2012): Shaving is not going to work it will only make the hair come back in thicker and rough,er, get a good mirror and start tweeezing them out, I know this will at first seem like a long time or buy a face epilator it will help wonders, then get down to the doctor and explain that this is effecting your self confidence and esteem, you may be able to get a course of laser hair removal, don't know if you would need to pay for it or not..
If you have to pay why not ask instead of presents ask for cash, say your saving for a spa day, you don't have to tell them what it's for..
I'm sorry your feeling down at the minute,, but you will feel better once you have a plan of attack on this,
For losing weight, drinks lots of soups, and cold water for ten days do have an evening meal, this will give your metabolism a kick start cut out all junk. Then start having a cereal breakfast with toast and then a banana at half ten lunch at twelve and banana at 2 then a dinner at 6 but nothing after that.
Take up walking. And slowly excercise, goin up and down the stairs a couple of times is good cardio
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