A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, just feeling a little lost and could use some help.About 6 weeks ago I decided to move interstate, as my mum lives up here and I wanted to try something new.I got myself a full-time job, and borrowed $5000 off my mum to buy a car.I am now starting to hate it up here, and want to go home. Aside from missing my boyfriend and friends, my mums boyfriend is constantly telling me what to do even though I am 19 and pay rent here.I feel extremely alone, and find myself crying daily.If I was to return home, I would have no where to live and no job, and would still have to worry about paying my mum back... So what can I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, lovehurts818  +, writes (2 March 2013):
 Tell your mom your planning on leaving BECAUSE, her man won't stop power tripping, BE CAREAFUL arounfd him, he seems weird, he has no respect, where does he get off saying anything at all to you?? Keep your distance, and don't be indecisive, listen to your heart, things will not change unless your mother cares enough about you to put her foot down and let him know that it's definitely not his place to tell you anything. She should be on your side no matter what. Maybe he wants you to leave and is making it difficult for you on purpose so you do get sick of it there??
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (23 February 2013):
Hi there. You still have to pay your mum back for the car, no matter what you do, so where you live won't really affect that at all.
It really depends on what you are the most unhappy about, with this situation with your mum and her new boyfriend.
Is it mainly that he seems to tell you what to do, and that annoys you?
Or, is it that you are a long way from your friends in the state you used to live in? And you are missing them.
You do have security, in that you have a full time job, so you can support yourself, can't you?
And that is always a good thing, as you have independence.
Is it a possibility, that you could rent a granny flat at the back of someone's house?
If you don't want to live with your mum and her boyfriend, that is.
That could be $100 to $150 a week, depending on the size of the granny flat.
And if you went back to the state you lived in before the move, you might not be able to find a job of any kind.
So you are extremely fortunate, that you have a job and a full time job at that.
In the state you live in now, do you have any close family there who you might consider moving in with and paying board?
The only other thing you can do, is to have a chat with your mother's new boyfriend, and come to some understanding between you, of what is expected by you and what is expected by him.
You could also air your concerns with your mother, about it - when her boyfriend isn't at home - which could help, and she might have some ideas of how to resolve any issues you have.
In any case, it would be wise to speak to your mother anyway, about how you are feeling.
She does need to know if there something that is bothering you.
Then between you both, you can work out a plan.
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