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I feel like everyone hates me and that I just don't matter.

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 July 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 1 August 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, *meee writes:

Hi All,

My life feels so weird lately, I have friends on Facebook that take their friendship away without giving a reason, I get ignored on Facebook, anything I post doesnt even get a response! I feel like I dont exist, at a works party recently we all got tipsy and I ended up kissing a guy I work with, we are both single, nothing else happened, although he did ask to go back to my place and I said no, now he ignored me at work and totally doesnt speak to me like I am trash, he blatently talks to other colleagues in front of me and this is making me so angry!

I send texts to friends and they dont get a reply. What have I done to everyone? I feel like everyone hates me and that I just don't matter. I am cheerful, nice, happy and fun yet I appear to alienate others. There is a girl at work who is a lesbian, she is so tiny and sweet and skinny, yet everyone loves her...even the guys at work hit on her and always comment on how fragile she is.... they know she is gay... but why do they hit on her ? I'm just curious, as i used to be friends with her until something happened and she made my life hell with threats outside of work to me.... so I keep my distance from her now, and only talk to her cos of work. Im at a loss..

View related questions: at work, facebook, girl at work, I work with, kissing, lesbian, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2010):

hi, im in the same situation as you and dont bother with facebook, it just seems like a popularity contest its very overated, i am a very insecure person and have always found that i project my mood on others if i go to work paranoid that everyone is talking about me and dislikes me i usually end up having the worst shift and no-one speaks, it does depend on how you seem to others you are probably a really nice person who has insecurities, try changing your outlook and think positive and feel confident about yourself, take care.

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A female reader, QuirkLady United States +, writes (1 August 2010):

QuirkLady agony auntYou absolutely do matter.

I can't say why everyone is treating you strangely, but I'd advise that you try not to take this to heart too much. Don't dwell on the awful things people do; think about the enjoyment that you get out of life.

Talk to the guy that you kissed and ask him if everything's fine, and if you can move on from what happened so things won't be awkward. If he keeps acting like an ass, don't lower yourself to his level. Just keep on being yourself.

As for the other lady at your job, maybe she has a nice personality and the guys like talking to her. It doesn't really matter why and you shouldn't spend too much time thinking about it.

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A female reader, Moo's Mum New Zealand +, writes (1 August 2010):

Moo's Mum agony auntI agree with Serena get to the bottom of this and ask people what you have done wrong.

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A female reader, SirenaBlusera Mexico +, writes (1 August 2010):

SirenaBlusera agony auntI sense that you're feeling really badly about yourself!

Just remember, YOUR value doesn't depend on what other people do. The world is full of assholes unfortunately, but that certainly doesn't mean that YOU don't matter.

I think it would help to talk to a counselor about this, because they can help you get to the bottom of other people's behavior; that's their specialty. I've felt rejected by others before, and it made me feel like shit, so I can relate to what you're saying... but, at the end of the day, it's usually the other person that has a problem.

It COULD be that there was a misunderstanding and that's what gave way to the Facebook thing. Maybe these people who unfriended you THINK that you did something to hurt their feelings, and you didn't deliberately do it. Why don't you contact them and say, "I was wondering why you're mad at me; I didn't mean to hurt you but if I did, I'm sorry."

Tell us how it goes.

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A male reader, RAINORFIRE United States +, writes (1 August 2010):

RAINORFIRE agony auntthe only way to get an answer to this question is to ask the people who make you feel this way... ask that guy we he ignored you...

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