A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel I really dont deserve my partner. I have been with him six years, and I have treated him appallingly. I have anger issues and hormone problems and he has bore the brunt of it for years. I have been so jealous and possessive, how he stuck it out I do not know. And yet, despite being jealous and controlling, I am the one who has been unfaithful, drunk kissing someone else. I have treated him horrendously and I am ashamed of myself. At one point, my mom said I couldnt possibly love him cuz if I did, I wouldnt treat him like that. But, I really do and always have. If I am completely honest with myself, I think I did it simply because I knew he wouldnt leave me. So I emotionally abused him. But then I had an epiphany. I had to change. Not because I was scared of losing him, but because he deserved better and that I loved him too much. I am much better now, I never start fights and I am not at all jealous anymore. He says he forgives me because he loves me, but I cant forgive myself. I feel like such an awful person, capable of hurting the one I love. I have been treating him better over a year now, andee We are supposed to be getting married next year, but I feel its unfair on him. I havent treated him right at all. Is it possible I really am truly forgiven and the old me wont come back, or do you think deep down I will always be capable of mistreating him?
View related questions:
drunk, jealous, kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cynthia does wonder  +, writes (25 August 2015):
Please dont be so hard on yourself... he forgave you ; please forgive yourself.. make it up to him with a lifetime of love and kindness and thoughtfulness.... hey ! .. you love him and everything will be okay.. relationships have ups and downs... just enjoy every moment and be happy. I truly wish you the best.. good luck
A
female
reader, Slippers +, writes (24 August 2015):
I think that you have done well so far and like an alcoholic who has issues .. you may feel tempted at times to fall into the bad habits you once had .. keep a journal of how far you've travelled . Write in it nightly . Be fair to yourself . No one will be an angel . But we strive to do our best .. If you see old behaviours surfacing . Remind yourself this isn't what or who YOU want to be . And then correct yourself .
Allow yourself to be happy .. stop lashing yourself with the branch as you soon make into a tree .. I'm a mental health nurse . And like all the wonderful aunts and uncles on here
We will gladly listen and given our Lil advice .
It's up to you to heed it, sweetie..
Take care and go plan your wedding with a spring in your step and smile in that lovely face x
...............................
|
